


Hate me, but love me too

by NotfunnyDean (IronEyes)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: "Straight"!Cas, (and Dean sees it), (not really MCD but Cas isn't alive in the beginning), Cas is cursed, Castiel has sex with somebody else in the beginning, Crying!Dean, Dean is so sweet and soft, Dom!Cas, Dubious Consent, First Kiss, First Time, Gender doesn't matter to Dean, Grace Sharing, Happy Ending, Hate Sex, Heartbreak, M/M, Mary is God, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mutual Pinning, Sub!Dean, Sweet Sex, Top!Cas, Virgin!Dean, angel!Sam, angel!dean, bottom!Dean, but I will fix it!, flirty!cas, hate curse, hate spell, human!Cas, older!sam, two idiots in love, younger!dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-29 12:41:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20796803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronEyes/pseuds/NotfunnyDean
Summary: Dean’s whole life changes when his mother tells him that John isn’t his biological father and he needs to save the world from his sibling Adam, who is the King of Hell. But he can’t do that alone, he needs the best Hunter earth had, Castiel Novak.





	Hate me, but love me too

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo this is for the [CasDeanFlipfest2019 ](https://casdeanflipfest.tumblr.com/)! It was a loooot of fun to do this and I wanna thank my wonderful mods, for being so awesome!
> 
> I should also thank my wonderful Beta [Cas ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/An_Angel_A_Muse/pseuds/An_Angel_A_Muse/) aaaaand of course my wonderful WONDERFUL and very lovely artist [Kampfhomo!](https://kampfhomo.tumblr.com//) Go check the art out!! 
> 
> Anyway the Flipfest was fun, but I was getting a headache from writing Dean in a trenchcoat and stuff like that. I do hope you all like it anyway! ;)

[](https://i.imgur.com/c4XmgRM.png)

“You wanted to see me?” Dean asks his mother and he curls his dark green wings wrapped around his torso. Mary is never asking for him, if there is some good news. She shares them with his older siblings Sam, Joanna, and Charlie, or any of the other angels she trusts.

“Son.” Mary says and Dean tries to look her in the eyes. He knows that he needs to be brave for this. Lately heaven is not what it used to be. Where once was laughter and light everywhere, it’s now awfully quiet and almost dark.

“Dean, please could you stop slouching like that. Stand more straight and what are your wings doing?” Sam, his oldest brother says loudly, from where he stands next to their mother, his black wings wide open. Dean slowly starts to uncurl his wings and puts them behind his back. He is nervous, he can’t help it. 

Dean waits for somebody to continue, but they are all just watching him. Jo is sitting on her throne, that is built next to their mother’s, and says nothing. Her black wings safely tucked behind him. Sometimes, Dean feels as if he doesn’t belong to this family. Not that they ever treated him badly, but he knows that he is different.

A look around shows him that Charlie isn’t here. She is normally always on earth and doesn’t care too much about their family business. Dean misses her deeply, since she was the one, who raised him, when his mother didn’t care anymore.

“We have something to discuss.” Mary says and with that she turns around to sit down herself. Sam remains standing. Dean swallows and he isn’t sure what to do. Normally they leave him out of stuff like this. 

“Okay.” Dean says quietly and he sees the disapproving looks at his soft voice. Dean isn’t doing this to annoy them, it’s just who he is, the nestling of the family. Sometimes Dean remembers being cuddled by his father. He can still feel his warmth around him, but since his father died, he doesn’t get that anymore, since Mary didn’t touch him once after his father's death.

Dean reminds her too much of something she had lost.

“Adam is back.” Mary says and Dean feels like he has to sit down at that. Now it makes sense that heaven is almost empty.

“B-Back?” Dean stutters over the word and looks over to Sam again. He knows that Sam and Joanna were down on earth the last months, maybe that’s the reason for it. Dean shudders a bit, but tries to cover it up.

“Yeah finally he showed his face again and this time we will end him.” Joanna says and Dean looks to his older sister. Just like Sam, Joanna is always happy about a fight and since they were fledglings, they are talking about revenge for their father.

Dean was too young when John died and he can’t even remember how he really looked. Sometimes he wishes Mary would’ve taken more pictures of him. Dean tries to focus back on the conversation in front of him.

“Calm down children.” Mary says loudly, when Sam and Joanna are already talking about a bet, who can kill Adam faster. Dean wishes he wouldn’t be part of this. He wants to go back to the garden of eden and watch the flowers there.

“We need to do something, mother. Every single one of our plans haven’t worked so far.” Sam says and sounds so angry. Dean wishes he could curl up behind his wings again. Just as he thinks that, Mary focuses back on him.

“Dean, you know that we wouldn’t ask you for help, if we didn’t need it so badly.” Mary says and Dean nods a bit. He knows how much Mary loved John, that’s why she hasn’t left her castle the last thousand of years. John was only a normal angel and it was so easy for Adam to kill him.

“What do you need me to do?” Dean asks, he knows he won’t like it, but he would do anything for his mother. Mary sighs and then looks a bit guilty at her other two children. Dean is a bit worried at that reaction.

“As you know, you four are born as child from a God and an angel. As Archangels, the highest Angel there are. Dean, but you my son… you are so much more human than you are an angel or a god.” Mary says and Dean squints to his wings. 

He knows they are a dark green instead of the black color his siblings wear and they are smaller, but he didn’t know, him being more human was the cause of it.

“What does that mean?” Joanna asks and Dean is glad that he doesn’t have to ask this question. He isn’t sure if he could talk right now. His mother doesn’t want to disown him, right?

“Just like Adam… Dean isn’t a child from me and John.” Mary says and Dean gasps quietly. He feels himself tearing up and Mary gets up, so she can walk slowly over to him.

“So he is not our brother?” Joanna asks and Mary glares at her.

“He is. Dean my darling. I’m sorry that I never told you this, but when your father told me he already had a child with a human, I was so angry. As you know Adam is his firstborn, but I still couldn’t live with the thought of another woman in his life.” Mary carefully puts her hands against Dean’s cheeks, when the first tears fall. 

Angels don’t cry, but Dean could never really control his emotions. It makes sense now, he was always different.

“Mother.” Sam says and even he sounds disgusted.

“I know. I went down to earth and wanted to see her. When I saw her and Adam, I told them the truth. That’s why Adam went to the wrong side. He was just as jealous as I was and he ended up killing John.” Mary says and Dean wants to strangle her. 

“W-who is my father?” Dean says and he can’t help it, when even more tears fall down his face. He doesn’t make a single sound.

“His name is Bobby Singer. I met him on earth and I really liked him.” Mary says and this time Dean sniffles. Even though he almost can’t remember John, it still hurts. 

“S-so I’m not an archangel, then what am I?” Dean wants to know and he sees that Sam looks worried. Even Joanna seems nervous by now.

“You are a nephilim. That’s what it’s called, when a human and an angel or a god create a child.” Mary whispers and Dean finally shoves her away. She seems a bit angry at that, but Dean doesn’t care. He doesn’t want to be touched by her.

“So he is like Adam.” Joana finishes this and Dean covers his face with his hands. He doesn’t want to end up like Adam. He just wants to be a normal angel.

“He is not. Look at him.” Sam answers and Dean sobs quietly. His whole life was a lie. His was missing a father he never even had. Instead his father is human and probably doesn’t even know about him.

“It also means he is more likely to get hurt than you two and Charlie, but he will be closer to the humans than any of us will ever be.” Mary says slowly and Dean cries loudly. She wouldn’t send him to the war, if the chance of him being dead was way more likely than his siblings, right?

“So you think he can bring back Castiel?” Sam says and Mary nods. Dean isn’t sure he understands what they are talking about. He never heard the name _‘Castiel’ _before, but apparently his siblings do know him. Dean tries to wipe the tears away and takes a shaky breath.

“I hope so.” Mary says and Dean waits for them to address him again. Maybe this Castiel could save the humans? Dean was never on earth before, but when he was still a little fledgling Mary told him all about it. He always thought about this paradise, but since Adam’s demons are out there he never dared to visit the place. 

“Okay. You need to focus Dean. You know that the angels and us are on earth to protect the humans, right?” Sam says and he strokes over his long hair, while Dean tries to get his emotions under control. He could cry later, when he is alone again. 

Dean always liked Sam’s hair and he concentrates on that. He nods at Sam’s question. He remembers how Mary told him that they would always watch over the humans.

“Yeah uhm… you’re like guardian angels for them.” Dean answers a bit unsure. Joanna actually snorts at the term and tries to hide her smile. Sam’s facial expression softens as well. Dean knows that they don’t call themselves that, but it fits.

He is still happy that his siblings doesn’t treat him different now. Even though he feels weird himself, he still wants to stay and hear this. Maybe he could visit earth too and find his real father.

“That’s one way to name it. I have a hunter with the name Gabriel I protect, Joanna’s hunter is named Balthazar and Charlie’s is Samandriel. They are good at their job and we do help the other humans a lot and protect them so that history doesn’t repeat himself and Adam kills so many humans again, but we still can’t get him.” Sam explains and Dean listens very observant. Sam, Joanna and Charlie never talked to him about their humans before.

“And who is Castiel?” Dean asks and he tests the name out. It feels good on his tongue and Dean smiles a bit at the ground. _Castiel_.

“Castiel was a hunter as well, the best one we saw so far. He died a few years back and we are trying to bring him back to life again.” Mary explains and Dean is confused. He never really understood how his mother created all this life and also the humans, but shouldn’t she be able to get Castiel back?

“Why do you need me for that?” Dean asks and Sam huffs quietly. Normally Dean never has this many questions or he doesn’t dare to ask them, since his siblings are busy a lot, but he wants to know. “Only a nephilim can get a human back and if you save him, you two will share a profound bond.” Sam explains and now Dean doesn’t understand this at all. How could he save Castiel? And what is this profound bond?

“We already visited Castiel in his own heaven. We couldn’t do anything.” Joanna says this time and Dean nods. Then how could Dean save himout of everyone? Dean never spoke to a human before. Hell, most angels already don’t like him.

“Dean this is really important. Since Adam killed John, there wasn’t even one day I spent without missing him. Adam took him to hell and… I can’t even visit him.” Mary says and she looks away. Dean hates to see his mother like this, no matter how she treats him.

“Castiel was killed on a rather easy hunt, because he was being reckless, but I’m sure with you as his guardian angel, that you two can finally avenge father.” Sam continues and Dean looks back to his mother. She has her face in her hands and he feels bad. 

He doesn’t miss John in the same way as she and his brothers do. Especially now that he heard that, he isn’t even his father, but Castiel could be his ticket to earth. To be with the humans.

“Okay.” Dean says softly and Joanna gets up at that. She looks almost proud of him and Dean smiles a bit. He would finally help his family and get himself a real one for the first time.

“Perfect. I will bring you to Castiel’s heaven.” Joanna says and she is already walking out of the big hall. Dean hastily waves his mother and Sam, before he tries to keep up with his older sister. Joanna seems really excited about this.

“How do I get Castiel to say yes?” Dean asks, when they walk through the white halls. Dean has never been here before. There are many doors and on every single one is a name engraved. Dean doesn’t look at them.

“Tell him that you two will save the world together. That should work.” Joanna replies and Dean frowns at that. It sounds way too easy. He is still unsure, what to do, when Joanna stops in front of one door. It looks as boring as the others did. Dean looks at the golden sign.

_‘Castiel Novak’_

Dean doesn’t know why, but he carefully holds his hand out and strokes over the letters. He shudders and something inside him stirs. He tries to ignore the feeling.

“But what…” Dean starts to say, but when he looks to his right, Joanna is already gone. The hallway is empty and Dean nods to himself. _Okay._ He wouldn’t disappointed his mother or his siblings. He would save Castiel and then find his real father.

Dean takes a deep breath and then knocks on the door. He isn’t really sure if Castiel can hear that, but he thinks it’s the polite way. When nothing happens, Dean slowly opens the door and enters the room.

It’s dark, so Dean squints a bit, before his angel vision begins to allow him to see, even in the dark. Maybe because Dean is more human than angel, his abilities always take a few seconds to work.

Dean’s eyes fall onto a big loveseat in front of a fireplace, that only glows a tiny bit. Dean can see dark hair peeking out of the backrest. _Oh_, so that must be Castiel. Dean takes another look around, but there isn’t anything special about this room. 

“Hello Castiel.” Dean says.

For a moment nothing happens and Dean wants to repeat himself, but then Castiel slowly turns around. Even though he is in heaven, he looks tired and worn out, his sight takes Dean’s breath away anyway.

Castiel has eyes more blue than anything, Dean has ever seen. They remind him of the tiny river in the garden of Eden. He has dark hair and for a reason, Dean doesn’t understand, his eyes are glued to Castiel’s lips.

“What are you?!” Castiel says and while he sounds angry, Dean feels something weird inside him again, when he hears the voice. It sounds so deep. Without realizing Dean takes a step closer and opens his wings.

Before Dean even sees that Castiel is moving as well, there is something stuck in his chest. It doesn’t really hurt, but it’s still not very pleasurable. Dean looks down and frowns at the knife, that sticks into his flesh, directly where his heart is.

“Oh.” Dean says and then he grabs the handle and janks the knife out of his chest. He lets it fall to the ground and looks to Castiel again. Now the hunter seems a bit more wary around him and actually takes a step back.

“What the fuck are you?” Castiel says again and Dean tilts his head to one side. Surely Castiel has seen angels before? His siblings said they visited him as well. 

“I’m an angel of the Goddess.” Dean says slowly and he shows off his wings again. Seems like he as no control over them, but he is pleased, when Castiel looks at the wings and his blue eyes roam over every feather.

“You look different than the other dicks with wings.” Castiel says, but he seems calmer and sits back down on his loveseat. Dean shuffles his feet. He knows that he doesn’t have those white wings a normal angel has or black ones like his siblings.

“Yeah I’m a nephilim.” Dean answers and Castiel’s eyes widen at that. Dean isn’t sure if that’s a good sign, but he decides to lean against the couch next to Castiel’s loveseat.

“And what do you want from me?” Castiel mutters finally and this time he sounds way more tired than angry. Dean ignores him for a moment and concentrates on Castiel’s soul. It’s so bright and beautiful, that Dean almost holds his hand out, so he can touch it. Sam, Charlie and Joanna always told him how beautiful human souls were.

But this is truly stunning. Dean can understand why his mother created them. When Dean watches the soul a bit closer, he can see some damage on it as well. Seems like Castiel didn’t have an easy life. Castiel huffs and Dean snaps out of his thoughts.

“I want to save you.” Dean says easily, but Castiel is already shaking his head.

“I’m not even allowed to have some peace after I died.” Castiel mutters angrily and he reaches out for a glass, that is on a tiny table next to him. Dean watches him curiously. He feels like he is already failing this mission. 

_“We need him, Dean.”_

Dean shakes his head, when Sam’s voice rings in his ears. Angel radio always makes him dizzy and he is sure that his siblings are now listening to this talk. Castiel puts the glass back down.

“Our worst enemy Adam came back to earth to kill humanity.” Dean says and Castiel huffs a laugh. It’s not a happy one and Dean’s wings twitch again. Somehow he wants to go over and comfort Castiel. He tries to focus on something else and settles for the tiny fire inside the fireplace.

“And why would that be my problem?” Castiel asks, but his voice changed. Dean can hear the shaking behind the words and he looks back into his blue eyes.

“You were a human, too. My siblings told me you were the greatest hunter of all humans and they need your help. _I_ need your help.” Dean says honestly and Castiel groans as an answer. He even wipes his hands over his face. _Desperate._ Dean knows he shouldn’t feel all of this.

His siblings were always so neutral. Sure they love humanity as well, but they would never want to show feelings. Dean’s fingertips jerk. He never had his feelings very well under control, but this is ridiculous. He tries to school his features.

“And you think we can stop Adam?” Castiel asks and Dean perks up at that. It actually seems as if Castiel is thinking about helping him. The angel radio gets louder inside his head again, but Dean can’t listen to that now. He needs to use this chance.

“I’m sure.” Dean says as confident as he can, even though he still feels kinda indimated alone by Castiel’s blue eyes. Normally Dean, as the half-angel in this case, should be the powerful one, but he can’t help but be fascinated by Castiel. Maybe it’s because Castiel is the first human he really met, otherwise he had only watched them from afar.

Castiel nods and then he looks at something behind Dean. It’s quiet in the room again and even the angel radio becomes silent. Dean relaxes and watches Castiel. The human is still looking at something directly over Dean’s left wing.

“Okay.” Castiel says and he sounds as if that word took all the energy out of him. Dean tilts his head again, because he can’t believe it was actually this easy. Castiel gets up and quench the flames completely with the rest of his drink.

Dean uses that moment to look at the shelf behind him, to see what Castiel was looking at. It’s an old photograph and Dean can see Castiel standing there with another man. The other man is shorter than Castiel and has blonde hair. 

“Can we go now or what?” Castiel growls and Dean feels a bit caught. He drops his glaze and presses his wings behind his back. Castiel rolls his eyes. 

“Of course.” Dean replies and then he touches Castiel for the first time. He just puts his hand on Castiel’s upper arm and closes his eyes. He really hopes Castiel doesn’t feel the shudders that runs through his whole body. 

Through angel radio Joanna and Sam explain the next steps, while Dean continues to hold onto Castiel. When he understands what he has to do, he opens his eyes again and flies. Still holding Castiel.

Dean never flew outside heaven before and it costs him a lot to pull Castiel out of heaven. His wings ache with every stroke, while he carefully sets Castiel back together. It’s fascinating how easily it is for him to rebuild Castiel’s body. He can even see flashbacks of Castiel’s life from his soul.

_“Be careful, my son.”_ Dean hears his mother and then he is already falling. He wants to scream, because he doesn’t know what is happening, but just then he lands hard on the ground. Dean groans. 

“Fuck.” Castiel says loudly, from his place on the ground. He looks better than he did in heaven and Dean is proud that he actually managed to do this. Still, Dean’s wings hurt for real and he can’t hear his siblings anymore. Dean is pretty sure that his wings are awfully damaged, but he can’t do anything about it now.

“Where are we?” Dean says quietly and he gets up. There are trees all around him, but this doesn’t look like heaven. Some of the trees are hurt, Dean can see how some of them were cut back. He frowns and touches a stump, it looks painful.

“On Earth of course.” Castiel mutters and he hisses, when he touches his upper arm, where Dean had held onto him. Dean is already distracted as he watches a little squirrel running over a branch on one of the trees.

“I didn’t think it would look like this.” Dean says quietly. He only ever saw earth from heaven and not every part... Sometimes he would look down one earth and listen to prayers, but he never thought it would feel this different, to walk the same ground.

“Where are your wings?” Castiel asks and Dean tries to look over his shoulder. It looks weird that he can’t see his wings, but Dean knows they are still there. He can feel how much they hurt, since he must’ve ripped some feathers off while saving Castiel.

“Another dimension, since they would burn your eyes out.” Dean says, because that was one of Joanna’s favorite stories. How she burned out some eyes of the first human she ever met. Dean makes a face.

“I kinda liked them.” Castiel says and then he starts walking towards a tiny path. Dean follows him and he hopes that he won’t blush. Unlike the other angels in heaven, Dean doesn’t have to find a vessel to walk on earth.

“Thank you.” Dean says and he smiles a little bit. Nobody ever before had found a liking in his wings. He’s always been the odd one in heaven.

“Unlike your clothes.” Castiel continues and Dean frowns down at himself. He is wearing a suit, since he thought that would be appropriate and over it a beige-colored trench coat. It’s John’s and Dean snuggles a bit more in it. Mary didn’t keep much from John, but Dean had stolen this from his room. He knows now that John isn’t his father, but he still loves this trench coat.

“What is wrong with my clothes?” Dean asks, but Castiel doesn’t answer him. Instead he just keeps walking, Dean directly behind him. 

“I think we should catch up with a few of my old friends first.” Castiel says and Dean nods. He isn’t sure how to find Adam anyway, but he hopes Castiel, or maybe even his friends have some ideas.

“Castiel Novak is saved.” Dean whispers so quietly, that only Mary and his siblings can hear him.

  


*

  


“I don’t understand.” Dean says quietly, when they are in a motel room. Castiel had insisted that they got one and Dean feels a bit out of place. The room is not really clean and it has two beds in it. Dean doesn’t sleep, but he isn’t sure if Castiel knows that.

“Well I was dead for almost two years, so I kinda need to catch up.” Castiel answers easily from his spot on the bed under the window. He is searching for something in his bag. Dean had gotten it for him, when they entered the motel and Castiel had described him where it was treasured when he was still alive.

“In a bar?” Dean answers. He knows that humans live in many sins. Drinking alcohol is one of them. He isn’t sure how to feel about this. What if Mary would be angry at him? She displayed those rules a long while ago. Maybe she stopped believing in them too? She did give birth to Sam, Charlie, Joanna and Dean… so.

“Yeah I know where my friends always go… investigating.” Castiel says and Dean nods. He knows that he needs to be close to Castiel the whole time, so he would visit this bar with Castiel, no matter what.

“Fine. Tell me the name of that bar.” Dean says and Castiel slowly gets up. Dean can see that he tucks a knife into his jacket and a gun in the back of his jeans. Dean frowns at that, but decided not to say anything. Castiel also seems to wear a lot of layers. Mostly flannel. Like a lumberjack.

“Why do you need the name?” Castiel asks and he goes over to the mirror. He checks his reflection and grins at himself. Dean looks hastily on the ground, but he can feel a certain warmth in his cheeks. That grin from Castiel was something Dean has never seen before. _Breathtaking._

“So I can fly us there.” Dean says and he looks back up to Castiel’s reflection. For a moment they stare at each other through the mirror and Dean can see how Castiel swallows. Dean wants to be closer to him.

“Even with your pretty wings gone?” Castiel asks and he actually winks at Dean, when he turns around. Dean doesn’t know what to answer for a moment. He feels so small and irrelevant around Castiel.

“They aren’t gone, Castiel. They are just in another dimension.” Dean answers and then takes a step closer. Castiel’s lips twitch to another smile and Dean wants to taste this smile. He blinks at those thoughts. He never had them before. 

“Okay, _Angel_. Let’s do it. It’s called ‘The Roadhouse’ and it’s in Kansas.” Castiel says then and breaks the spell. Dean watches him as he takes the bag and somehow they stand way too close, when he Dean takes a step forwards to him. Castiel seems a bit confused, when Dean holds out his hand and then touches his forehead with two fingers.

Dean lands safely in front of the bar and looks around. A few cars are parked here and his eyes fall on a black car at the back of the parking lot. It looks beautiful, even though Dean doesn’t know what kind it is.

“Son of a bitch!” Castiel says, when he lands on his ass. Dean tries not to chuckle when he sees the look on Castiel’s face. 

“We’re here.” Dean announces and then walks over to the door. Before he can open the door, there is a hand stopping him. Dean looks down at Castiel’s hand on his upper arm and then glances back up. Castiel’s face is very close.

“Slow down. I will do the talking, okay? They don’t know you and I’m pretty sure that they don’t trust you, at least in the beginning. And how about a warning next time? I don’t really like this flying thing.” Castiel says and then he opens the door. Dean nods cautiously and follows him. 

Inside it’s dark and Dean can spot a few people in the back of the bar. As soon as the little bell above the door jingles, everybody turns around. Dean sees a lot of confused faces, when they see Castiel walking towards them.

“Cas?!” 

Dean is overwhelmed when he sees a woman already hugging Castiel. There are three more men sitting at the table. They are all human, _hunter_. Dean can see their souls so clearly in front of him and he studies them for a second. They seem friendly.

“How the fuck are you alive?” The girl asks and Castiel is grinning proudly. Dean can see how he puts his arm around her. Dean frowns harder, when she touches Castiel’s upper arm. Where Dean pulled him from heaven.

“Let a man get a beer first.” Castiel says and he sits down at the table. Dean feels even more awkward, since he seems to be ignored by everyone. He just stands behind Castiel and waits for the moment, Castiel will focus back on him.

“Balthy, get the man a beer!” A smile guy says and Dean feels his brother’s protection around them. So those are Joanna’s, Charlie’s and Sam’s humans. Dean’s eyes widen. He never thought he would meet them one day. 

“Here Castiel. Now tell us everything.” Balthazar says, when he comes back and puts the beer in front of Castiel. Dean stays quiet, while Castiel drinks his beer. He even plays with the bottle and Dean doesn’t understand why his body feels so weird again.

“First let me introduce you to my new guardian angel, Dean. He’s weird but a nice guy.” Castiel says and points behind him. Dean blushes a deep shade of red, when everyone at the table turns to him. He nods his head.

“Hello.” Dean says and Castiel rolls his eyes.

“Dean? This is Balthazar, Gabriel, Samandriel, and Hannah. They are my best friends.” Castiel says and Dean nods again, because he doesn’t know what else he could do. Balthazar and Samandriel smile at him, but Gabriel frowns openly at him. Only Hannah gets up and comes around the table.

“Oh god, he is dreamy!” Hannah says and Dean swallows. _Oh_. 

“I know, right?” Castiel says and Dean wants to fly away, but he knows how important this mission and Castiel is, so he wouldn’t even leave for a minute. Castiel is still smiling, while Hannah actually hugs Dean.

Dean doesn’t move at all. He isn’t used to hugs, but Hannah doesn’t seem to be offended by this. Samandriel and Balthazar are next and Dean shakes their hands. That feels better, even though in heaven nobody does that either. Castiel is there while hugging Gabriel and they whisper to each other. Castiel looks so happy.

“But I still don’t understand how he got you back.” Gabriel says and this time Dean recognizes him. He was the guy on Castiel’s picture back in heaven. So maybe they are brothers. Dean can see how close their souls are. 

“Well Dean here coaxed me back. He gave me a good reason.” Castiel says and nobody at the table asks for more details. Dean wished he would know himself, what Castiel was talking about. 

“And Kevin?” Samandriel asks and Dean tilts his head at the name.

“Kevin is in heaven. All well.” Dean answers and Castiel seems a bit relieved at that. A bit pressure seems to be taken off his shoulders and this time Castiel actually points at the free chair next to him. Dean sits down.

“He was Cassie’s first angel, that’s why we’re asking.” Balthazar explains and Dean nods. He heard that Kevin was badly wounded, when he came back to heaven, but he knows that Kevin is feeling better. 

“I brought Castiel back, because Adam is back on Earth.” Dean says and they all go very quiet. Dean wonders if he said something wrong, but then Gabriel sighs loudly.

“Yeah Sam told me about it earlier.” Gabriel says and Dean smiles at the mention of his brother. Maybe Sam, Charlie and Joanna would be more often here and Dean could see them a lot. He always misses them in heaven and he wonders if they would show up today already. He doesn’t have a close relationship to them, but he hopes this would change now.

“We even have an idea, where he could be.” Balthazar says quietly and Dean feels a bit of excitement rush through him. Castiel was right, his friends seem to know a lot. Dean hopes his mother can feel his emotions right now.

“Where?” Castiel asks and takes another sip from his beer. Dean never got drunk before, but Castiel chucks the beer, as if it has the best taste in the world. 

“Nothing too far away. We could check it out together. It’s an old bunker. Hannah found a lot of them and apparently all those creatures use them to hide.” Gabriel explains and Castiel only nods to that.

Dean frowns. _Bunker._ He heard that before, maybe when he overheard Joanna and Sam some time. Only the worst kind of monsters are in the Bunkers and they are named the ‘_Creatures of Spells’_.

“Sounds good, but I feel like we should celebrate my return first.” Castiel says and his grin makes Dean a bit uncomfortable. He doesn’t really know what Castiel means by celebrating, but perhaps he is right.

It’s too late now to visit one of those Bunkers and it would be a lot easier to do it with Jo, Charlie and Sam. Maybe even the daylight would help them a lot. Dean is so deep in his thoughts, that he misses Castiel talking to him.

“Hey angel.” Castiel says smirking lazily and Dean looks up.

“Yes Castiel?” Dean asks back and Castiel holds another beer bottle up. The others around them are all drinking as well and Dean accepts the bottle. He doesn’t need to drink or to eat, but he takes a sip anyway.

“Good angel. Now when does the bar finally open?” Castiel asks and they all start laughing around them. Dean is a bit confused, but just drinks his beer quietly. This is all pretty weird to him.

“Are you having fun?” Hannah asks him two hours later, when the whole bar is full with weird people and Dean is still sitting where they all left him at some point. Dean’s eyes are focused on Castiel, because of his mission, mostly, but he also feels as if there is something else, keeping them to look at the human.

“No.” Dean says honestly and Hannah has to laugh at that. Dean turns to her now and realizes, she seems a bit drunk as well and when she puts her hand on his thigh, Dean gets up and puts some space between them. 

“You know that you are allowed to have some fun right? Castiel is for sure having fun tonight. We can still save the world tomorrow.” Hannah says and she nods to Castiel. Dean looks back to him and sees how closely Castiel stands to another woman.

Castiel’s hands are on her waist and Dean feels even more weird. Maybe angels shouldn’t drink alcohol. Dean puts his bottle back to the table and Hannah shrugs at him, before she leaves.

“Dean?” Castiel asks and Dean turns to him. The woman is still very close to Castiel and Dean wrinkles his nose at her perfume, even though it isn’t unpleasant. There is a dark mark on her neck and for a moment Dean wants to ask her, if she is hurt. 

“Yes?” Dean asks back and he ignores the woman for now, he doesn’t really care about her. 

“I will leave now with Anna here.” Castiel announces and Dean nods. He isn’t sure why they would need to take Anna with them, but maybe she has some important information. Maybe she even got the mark from Adam.

“I understand.” Dean says and he goes towards the exit. Just as he wants to open the door, Castiel’s hand holds him back. Dean tilts his head in confusion. He isn’t really sure what Castiel wants from him.

“Seems like you don’t, but fair game. You see that pretty shiny black car out there?” Castiel asks and Dean looks to it. Oh it’s the car Dean saw earlier. 

“Yes, it is very beautiful.” Dean admits and Castiel nods. For some reason he seems incredibly proud and only when Anna punches him against the shoulder, Castiel blinks out of his daydreams.

“That is my Baby and I will take her with me, so I can bring Anna back to the motel room.” Castiel says and Dean nods slowly. They wouldn’t really need the car, since Dean can fly with two people as well, but if Castiel insists on driving... 

“Of course, Castiel.” Dean says and Castiel seems a bit relieved. Dean is even more surprised when Castiel and Anna go through the door and wave at him. Dean is not sure if he is following Castiel anymore. Shouldn’t he leave with them?

“Castiel?” Dean asks and Castiel opens the car door for Anna.

“I will see you later, Dean.” Castiel says and he even winks at Dean, who stands still in the open door. Dean nods, because now he knows what Castiel means. Of course he wants to interview Anna alone first, since he is the experienced one and Dean would just fly to the motel room. 

“Yes Castiel.” Dean whispers more to himself and without looking around for anyone who would see him, Dean flies away.

  


*

  


Of course Dean is the first one to be in the motel room and he carefully cleans up Castiel’s bed, since it’s still a mess with all of Castiel’s clothes and other stuff Dean had never seen before. 

“You think he won’t follow us?” 

Dean looks up when he hears that voice from outside, seems like Castiel and Anna are finally here as well. Just as Dean wants to open the door for them, he hears what Castiel says.

“Nah, Dean is like a dog. He will wait at the bar and I’ll pray to him later, after I had my fun with you.” Castiel says and Dean swallows. So Castiel had really wanted him to stay at that bar.

Just when the doorknob turns, Dean makes himself invisible. He doesn’t want to disappoint Castiel already on the first day. He can’t help that little yelp that escapes him, when he sees Castiel and Anna together.

They are kissing with such a heat, that Dean wants to look away, when they stumble into the room, but he can’t. Castiel’s eyes are wide open and for a second Dean believes he can see him, but then Castiel pushes Anna on the bed.

“Come here.” Anna says and she is grinning. There are more marks on her neck now and Dean can see one on Castiel as well, he glares at Anna, because now he understands why they have those.

“You want me, hm?” Castiel grins and then he throws his flannel in one of the corners. The shirt, he wears under it, falls to the ground as well and Dean gets a perfect view of Castiel’s chest.

Dean’s eyes wander over to Castiel’s shoulder and his breath hitches. There is a mark on Castiel’s shoulder. A handprint… from him. Oh no, Dean actually branded him. Dean is for sure blushing, but when Anna presses her hand on the print, Dean almost growls. 

“All night.” Anna says and Dean should really fly away, but he can’t. He has to lick his lips, even though he doesn’t really need to wet them. The scene in front of him gets even more heated, when Castiel climbs on top of Anna, to kiss her again.

Dean doesn’t even realize that Anna is losing some clothes as well, since he can’t look away from Castiel. The human is only wearing some tight black boxer shorts and when he gets up again, Dean can see almost everything.

“Ready for me, doll?” Castiel grins and when Anna nods, Dean closes his eyes. He shouldn’t see this. Not only would Castiel be very angry with him, his mother would be very disappointed as well. 

Dean doesn’t know how long he stands there before he opens his eyes again, but he can’t ignore the noises they make. Anna’s high pitched moans don’t interest him at all, but Castiel sounds wrecked and Dean would lie, if he said he doesn’t like that.

“God you’re so good!” Anna says and Dean feels himself nodding. He just wishes… Dean shakes his head, he can’t think about it. Angels aren’t really allowed to have intercourse with humans, but then again both his parents broke that rule, too.

“You feel so good. Fuck yes Anna.” Castiel whispers and that’s enough for Dean. His chest squeezes tightly and he vanishes, just like that. He can’t watch this anymore or he would… 

Dean shakes his head and looks around. He is in a forest again and it’s so dark without his angelic vision he wouldn’t see a thing. For a moment he doesn’t even know why he flew here, but then he sees someone else.

“Dean?” 

“Charlie!” Dean was never more happy to see his sister and he runs the last steps towards her. Charlie catches him easily and Dean hugs her as tight has he can. He had missed her so much!

“What are you doing here?” Charlie asks and she sounds more confused than anything else. Dean snuggles closer.

“Mum sent me here, I have my own hunter to watch now!” Dean explains and Charlie breaks the hug. She looks very serious for a moment and normally she is never really serious about anything.

“So she told you everything, hm?” Charlie says quietly and Dean nods. For a moment he is just looking at his sister, she looks still the same and still something is different as well.

“Did you know about all of it?” Dean asks and Charlie shrugs. Dean had already thought, that she for sure knew at least some of the stuff, but he is mostly just happy to see her again. From all his siblings she was always his favorite.

“I suspected it and my human Samandriel told me that Adam is back and we’re searching for him at the moment.” Charlie says and Dean nods. He had met Samandriel already and he seemed like a nice guy. Maybe a bit shy for Charlie.

“Yeah, I met the hunters yesterday and uhm… they told me about the bunkers?” Dean asks and Charlie turns serious for a moment. Dean remembers her mostly as his funny sister, but apparently at this time they are all a bit different, not that Dean can blame her.

“Yeah, I talked to Sam and Jo already and they think we should investigate the bunkers near us. Adam is probably searching for protection in one of them.” Charlie says and she sighs. Dean’s fingers itch to hug her again, but he knows his siblings are usually not much for touching.

Unlike Castiel. Who gets touched by someone else right now. Dean shakes his head again and tries to focus back on his sister. 

“I mean it could be. Do you think it’s a good idea?” Dean wants to know, even though he trusts Sam and Jo, they are always up for some fight and maybe Charlie is a bit more careful and has another strategy. 

“Maybe. Mostly I’m worried about you.” Charlie says and she actually ruffles his hair. Dean huffs a bit offended and tries to get away from her. He doesn’t admit that he actually loves it, Charlie did that a lot when they were still fledglings. 

“Why? I can fight!” Dean says and he hopes she doesn’t see him blushing. He never did fight for real against someone, but he is an angel. No, he is even a Nephilim. He should be able to do this.

“But maybe you shouldn’t. Tell me how your hunter is named.” Charlie says and she now sits down on a trunk next to them. Dean sighs quietly and decides to sit down next to her. He feels exhausted, even though angels will always be at full power if their grace is alright.

“Castiel.” Dean says and he whispers the name. It shouldn’t be possible to fall in love in such a short time, but Dean can’t really help it. He had freed Castiel out of heaven and somehow he feels as if they… really bonded. Sam had told him about that bond, but Dean didn’t think it would feel like this.

It’s not even that the wish to have Castiel as his, is so strong that he can’t think. No. He just wants to be Castiel’s. No matter what,

“Castiel? You got him back?” Charlie asks and she sounds surprised, but also a bit wary. Dean nods and then plays with the hem of his trench coat. Charlie is quiet for a long time, before she nods and puts her hand on Dean’s thigh.

“Okay, I know Castiel, or rather I knew him. Maybe you two are really strong enough to fight against Adam.” Charlie says and she smiles. Dean leans against his sister and she presses a kiss to his temple. 

“I really wanna try it, Charlie. Mom told me about my real father and maybe I could find him after all of this is over.” Dean says and he smiles at his sister. Charlie smiles back but her smile is rather sad. 

“I always wanted to keep you out of this. When Mom told us that you were a nephilim, I left heaven. Not because I didn’t want to see you Dean. But I was afraid, we saw how Adam turned out when he knew that father had another wife and I was scared you would be broken as well.” Charlie explains and Dean nods. He had always missed Charlie, but he also knows how much she hates when the family fights.

“I promise I won’t turn evil.” Dean says and Charlie laughs. She kisses his cheek again and Dean can see that there are tears in her eyes. She seemed to have adapted a few human quirks in the last years.

“I know Dean. I’m still afraid you will get hurt, but I know you deserve a chance to kill Adam as much as we others do.” Charlie says and Dean nods. He isn’t John’s son but he still feels as if he should stop Adam, so he can’t keep hurting the humans.

“Tell me one of the bunkers names. Castiel and I will check it out.” Dean says then and Charlie nods, before she snaps her fingers. Dean looks down to his hands, a small paper suddenly in them. He opens the paper and sees an address written down.

“But promise me you will be careful, Dean. I know Castiel is a great hunter but he is… sometimes out of shape.” Charlie says and Dean looks back to her.

“Do you have a bond with Samandriel?” Dean asks now and Charlie’s eyes widen at that, before she starts to laugh. Dean glares at her.

“No I have not. Why would you think that?” Charlie says and she wipes her tears away, Dean shrugs and then puts the paper in the pocket of his trench coat. He already had thought that nobody else got this bond, but him and Castiel. Somehow it makes all of this worse. 

“Castiel and I bonded, said Sam.” Dean says and Charlie opens her mouth, but then she doesn’t say anything and closes it again. Dean feels a bit nervous at her reaction, but then she shakes her head and focuses back at him.

“I didn’t think of that. You are a nephilim and he is a human, of course you bonded when you pulled him out of heaven!” Charlie gasps then and she seems almost happy about it. Dean’s tummy makes a weird sound and he looks down.

“Yeah but he doesn’t know that.” Dean admits and Charlie’s smile turns into a frown. Dean shrugs as if to play it off, but of course Charlie knows him better than anyone, even though she was away for so long.

“But you… like him?” Charlie asks carefully and Dean nods. He can feel his face heating up and he curses his human genes. The other angels would never blush like this or admit weird feelings for some human they just met. Even his ears are glowing.

“Yes.” Dean admits, full of shame and Charlie puts her arm around him. Dean leans heavily against her and sighs again. He wishes he could go back to his old life, but then he would already miss Castiel. He is so gone already, it’s embarrassing.

“I’m sorry.” Charlie just says and Dean nods. He can feel some tears at the corner of his eyes. Stupid emotions, he hates this. He thinks back to Castiel and this… Anna and he feels also so angry. He had thought that Castiel would feel their bond, too.

“He’s fucking a girl right now.” Dean presses out and this time the tears actually fall down. Dean’s breath hitches again and then he actually makes some weird noises while crying. He is sobbing, can it be any more embarrassing?

“Do you want me to smite him?” Charlie asks and Dean grins. That’s typical for Charlie, being gone for years and still caring so much for him.

“No, but thank you.” Dean says and he plays with the paper in his pocket. He would show Castiel, that he is a good mate. That he can kill Adam and save the world. Save Castiel’s world.

Charlie doesn’t say anything after that and Dean just sits with her there for a few more hours, before he gets up and promises to check in after hunting down that bunker. Charlie hugs him once more and Dean flies back to his motel room.

Anna is luckily gone, Castiel snoring loudly in one of the beds. Dean smiles down at him and strokes carefully over his cheek, before he tucks Castiel in. 

“Sleep well, my hunter.” Dean whispers and then he sits down at the chair. Waiting for the sun to get up, so they could leave and finally kill Adam.

“Dean.” 

Dean smiles, when he hears Castiel whispers his name. Seems like someone is dreaming, for a second Dean wants to look inside his head, but in the end he doesn’t, because Castiel would for sure be angry.

  


*

  


Watching Castiel to wake up is almost beautiful, Dean is sure someone could write whole poems about it. Castiel rubs over his eyes and then groans loudly, while he stretches his arms over his head.

Dean chuckles and Castiel freezes in his movement. 

“What the hell!” Castiel says and he sounds very angry. Dean tilts his head and frowns back, maybe Castiel isn’t a morning person.

“Good morning, Castiel.” Dean says and Castiel puts the blanket over his lap. Dean almost rolls his eyes at that, because nudity isn’t a shaming concept for him. Well… showing himself naked in front of someone would feel weird, maybe. He never did that before, so he doesn’t know, actually.

“Do you understand the concept of personal space?” Castiel grumbles and he gets up, blanket still around his hips, to walk over to the bathroom. Dean shrugs at himself, since he isn’t actually sure if he does understand that concept. 

Dean leans back in his chair and waits for Castiel to be done. He is glad that he doesn’t have to use the toilet or brush his teeth. It sounds exhausting the way Castiel complains about it the whole time.

“So what now, Angel of the Goddess?” Castiel says, once he is done and sits on the bed to tie his boots. 

“I’m not an Angel, I’m a Nephilim.” Dean says and Castiel nods, because Dean told him that before. Before Castiel can say anything else, Dean gets the paper from Charlie out of his pocket and holds it out for Castiel to take.

“What’s that?” Castiel asks and takes the paper. He frowns when he sees that address written down and Dean sighs.

“My sister Charlie gave it to me. We will find a Bunker from the Creatures of Spells there and maybe find Adam. Your friends talked about that as well.” Dean explains and Castiel nods. He strokes over his scruff while he is lost in thought and Dean can’t look away. He wishes he could feel that against his own skin.

“Okay we need some breakfast first though.” Castiel says and gets up from his bed, now finally dressed. He even gets on his leather jacket. Castiel stands up as well and follows him out of the door. 

“We will... drive?” Dean asks and looks a bit wary, when Castiel opens the drivers door. Castiel frowns at him.

“Of course. You can be glad I even allow you in my car. Normally only my brother Gabriel drives with me.” Castiel says and sits down. Dean feels himself a bit blush at that and opens his own door. It smells like leather in there, but he likes it.

“I really like your car, Castiel.” Dean admits and Castiel seems very happy with that, because he is grinning now. They listen to some loud music and Dean feels very funny, when Castiel sings quietly to a song about angels. 

“So you think you’re ready for this?” Castiel asks, when he parks the car. Dean tries to look at the old cassettes he can see there, because he actually did enjoy the music, but Castiel is already out of the car.

“Well I do have certain powers.” Dean says and shrugs, Castiel rolls his eyes at that and walks over to the small diner, that they stopped at. Dean looks around, he isn’t sure if he can actually eat human food. 

“At least you got the best hunter on your side.” Castiel says grinning and while he tries to sound cocky, Dean smiles back and nods. He didn’t see Castiel in action so far, but he knows that he will like it anyway. Castiel sits down in a booth and Dean looks around.

“What do you eat for breakfast?” Dean asks and studies the card, while he is waiting for Castiel’s answer. He actually enjoys these human things. Maybe he would even lay down one day and try to sleep.

“Bacon! That’s like the best thing on earth. Oh and some eggs, but I feel like you are more of a pancake or waffle guy.” Castiel says and then waves his hand for a waitress. Dean frowns a bit more and nods in the end.

“Hello what can I do for you?” The waitress, Mona, says and Castiel leans back in his seat. He is grinning again and lifts one eyebrow, Dean swallows.

“Hey sweetheart, can you be a doll and give me the best bacon you have with a side of eggs and my friend here will take some pancakes.” Castiel says and he even winks at her. Dean’s finger twitch, from where he has them under the table. 

The waitress ignores Castiel’s bad flirting but writes everything down. Dean is a bit relieved that she isn’t even trying to flirt back. They spend the next minutes in silence while Castiel seems to research some stuff on his phone. Dean just leans back and looks around the diner.

When the food comes fifteen minutes later, Dean’s tummy makes gurgling noise that surprises himself. Castiel raises an eyebrow, while he already started to eat. There is actually some of the sauce dripping down his chin. Dean frowns at those manners. 

“I didn’t know angels eat.” Castiel says and he doesn’t even swallow his food down. Dean shrugs and then takes his cutlery, to cut some of his pancakes. They actually do taste good and while Dean normally doesn’t eat, just like Castiel said, he enjoys this.

“Apparently on earth I’m even more human.” Dean says quietly and Castiel is the one who frowns down at him. Dean did even fell asleep for a bit tonight, but he can still feel his hurt wings and also his grace is still fully powered. He actually likes this a lot.

Dean eats his pancakes happily and he can’t help but hum once in a while. When he looks back up to Castiel, he can see that the hunter is smiling at him. Dean stares back and for a moment, he doesn’t even realizes that there are people around them. Castiel’s smile softens even more and Dean’s heart makes a jump.

“You wanna try my bacon?” Castiel whispers and Dean can feel himself nodding. He feels their bond more openly now and he wishes he could touch the mark he left on Castiel. Instead he smiles, when Castiel holds up his fork.

Castiel’s blue eyes are wide, when Dean leans closer and eats the bacon from his fork. Seems like this is not really what Castiel had meant, but Dean doesn’t care. The bacon tastes wonderfully and he moans around it, still looking at Castiel.

“Good, right?” Castiel asks and he has to cough, before he can speak. Dean nods hastily, because that tasted really good, he would’ve never thought that. Castiel’s cheeks are a bit red and Dean smiles once more before he finishes his pancakes.

When Mona comes back so they can pay, Castiel isn’t even looking at her at all. Instead he is smiling at Dean, who is trying to figure out how to use Castiel’s phone. Castiel had already looked for the bunkers address and the drive is only a two hour one. 

“Why can’t we fly?” Dean asks and he rolls his shoulders. He misses to see his wings. Castiel is grinning at him and shakes his head, when they walk outside. Their shoulders brushing together.

“Because I feel like I will never be able to go to the toilet again, after yesterday and I won’t leave Baby here.” Castiel explains and promptly sits down in his car. Dean has to smile a bit and opens the door on his side. He would never admit it, but he does love to travel with Castiel already. 

The music isn’t too loud, while they drive, but Dean catches himself more than once quietly humming to it, when Castiel sings some lyrics. They talk a lot and Dean enjoys every single story Castiel tells him. About his brother Gabriel and how he grew up. Dean doesn’t say much about his own family, but he does talk about his favorite spots in heaven. 

“You really are a cool guy.” Castiel says after Dean told him how he would love to have his own bees at some point. His siblings had always laughed about dreams like that, but Castiel had even put his hand on Dean’s thigh for a short moment.

“Thank you Castiel. I really enjoy our time together.” Dean says and the bond throbs again. He is sure that Castiel can’t feel it, but he loves the feeling of it anyway. He can even see how Castiel ducks his head and there is the faint blush on his cheeks again. 

When they do finally arrive at the bunker, Castiel parks the car a bit away from it. Dean looks around and then uses his grace to search in the area. He can’t feel anything evil around them, but that doesn’t surprise him. The Bunkers probably protect them rather well.

“So we just go in there?” Castiel asks and he opens Baby’s trunk to get some weapons out. Dean already saw that he has a pistol with him and also a knife, that could probably takes out demons. Dean gets his angel blade out of his sleeve. 

“Yes. You will stay behind me.” Dean says and he already walks towards the building. He can hear Castiel groan behind him, but Dean knows that he is stronger than the hunter. His grace is already pulsing and he feels ready. Where he was still afraid before, he just wants to do this.

He wants to get Adam to his deserved punishment and Dean would fulfill that. He wants to stay on earth, wants to explore how fun life can really be and… he wants to stay with Castiel, if the hunter will have him back.

“Dean.” Castiel whispers, when they are at the door. Dean ignores him and presses his hand to the door. Yeah the bunker is heavily warded and for a second he thinks how he could open the door. Castiel is faster than him and breaks the door open. 

It’s quiet inside the bunker and Dean walks slowly into it, angel blade in front of him. He can hear Castiel behind him and when he looks behind him, he sees that Dean is holding up his revolver and a flashlight.

“I don’t think someone is here.” Castiel whispers. Dean takes a look around, everything is covered in dust and he can’t sense someone here with them. Maybe Castiel is right and nobody is here anymore. The Creatures of Spells could be long dead.

“Seems like it.” Dean mutters. He had really thought that Charlie gave him an address, where he would find Adam. Maybe his siblings had more luck. Dean walks over to what looks like a library and leans against the table. He tries to concentrate on his angel radio, telling his siblings that his bunker is empty.

“DEAN!” 

Dean jerks out of his thought, just as Sam tells him his bunker is empty as well, when a shadow falls over him. Dean opens his eyes, just to look in yellows ones. A witch. 

“If this isn’t the nephilim. Dean.” The witch says and Dean is so surprised, that the first thing he does is look out for Castiel, who is pressed against the wall. So the witch got him first. Dean holds his angel blade up.

“Let him go.” Dean says and his voice isn’t even shaking or sounding scared at all, even though he his afraid. Castiel looks a bit panicked as well, while the witch cackles loudly. Dean can see the revolver from Castiel and his knife on the ground.

“Why would I? You came into my home.” The witch says and Dean uses his grace to reach out to Castiel. Maybe he could break her spell like this. Before Dean can do anything more, she already has her hand around his neck. Dean chokes. 

“Dean no!” Castiel says and he struggles visibly against the spell. Dean coughs, when the witch presses even more down on his throat. His grace feels almost cut off and he doesn’t know what to do.

“C-Cas.” Dean says and his eyes water, while the witch is already doing another spell. Dean closes his eyes, when he sees how devastated Castiel looks. His bond shakes with a unknown force and Dean doesn’t even need to breath and the witch can still hurt him like this. 

Just when Dean thinks, that he won’t survive this, the witch lets go and Dean falls to the ground. She is still smiling down at him and continues with her curse. Dean never heard those words before and he can’t even translate them. He tries at least to remember some words, so he can ask his siblings about it later. 

“Castiel, now!” Dean says, when he has enough of his power back to use his grace and push it towards Castiel. Dean knows his eyes are glowing bright blue now. The hunter nods and he really breaks out of the spell that pressed him against the wall. 

The grace from Dean isn’t hurting Castiel, it just lets the spell explode around them. The witch is surprised for a second and Dean uses that moment to get up and press his angel blade against her neck.

“I got this.” Castiel says and he grabs his own knife from the ground. Just then the witch ends her curse and a bright yellow light explodes around them. It doesn’t hit Dean like she wanted to, but instead Castiel falls loudly to the ground. 

Dean is so afraid that Castiel is seriously hurt, that he lets the witch go. He ends up using his grace on her and she faints, before she falls on the ground as well. Dean would kill her later, right now he has only one thought.

“Cas!” Dean says and he doesn’t even know when that nickname happened, but it’s not important right now. Dean kneels down next to Castiel and carefully shakes his shoulder. He presses his finger against Castiel’s neck and is relieved when he can feel his pulse. 

“Please wake up.” Dean begs and he frowns down at a rather big scratch on Castiel’s forehead. He touches Castiel’s skin, carefully stroking over it, rather than just pressing his fingertips against his forehead.

The wound heals in seconds and finally Castiel opens his dark blue eyes. Dean smiles down at him now stroking his cheek, touching his stubble, and it feels just as good as he had imagined. He knows the humans call this falling in love and he chuckles at that thought. He already fell from heaven with Castiel, what is falling in love compared to that.

“Are you okay?” Dean whispers and Castiel looks so beautiful like this. He is also shyly smiling up at Dean and then something changes. Castiel is frowning and then straight on glaring at him.

“Of course I am, but not because of you. Can’t even kill an easy witch, how will you kill Adam? I trusted you!” Castiel says and he sounds so angry. Dean falls back on his ass and watches, when Castiel gets up to brush some dirt from his jacket.

“I was surprised and my grace did save you.” Dean says quietly, but Castiel is not even listening. Instead he walks out of the room, as if he doesn’t care what happens to the witch or Dean.

Dean sighs and then takes care of the witch. He can still feel Castiel outside of the bunker and cleans up the mess they left. He also uses his angel radio again, to call out for his siblings. Sam seems a bit upset and Joanna is shaking with anger, while Charlie is rather quiet. Nobody actually found Adam in any of their bunkers.

Just as Dean had thought, the bunkers were empty, just he and Castiel had the luck to meet that witch. He shakes his head at himself and then goes outside to meet up with Castiel again. The hunter is still looking angry, leaning against his car.

“Finally.” Castiel mutters and gets into his car. Dean doesn’t know what to say and he gets into the car as well. This time their drive is spent completely in silence.

  


*

  


“I just don’t get it. I really thought we would find him.” Gabriel says, when they all agreed to meet up in the Roadhouse again. Dean is sitting next to Castiel, who is still not really talking to him. Sometimes Dean catches his eyes and Castiel seems to look at him with sympathy, but as soon as he thinks that, Castiel is back to openly glare at him.

“Me and you both.” Hannah says and she is leaning against Balthazar, who sits next to her. Dean looks over to his siblings who sit all together at one side of the table. Only Dean is in the middle of the humans, but he does like it like this.

“I’m sure he was at least in our bunker, found his handwriting in some of the books.” Sam says and Charlie agrees to that. Dean looks down at the beer that Castiel got him. He hadn’t even looked at any stuff, after Castiel got so angry. 

“Well I’m sure we failed the most today.” Castiel says, before he chucks his beer down and gets up to get himself a new one. Dean feels himself blushing and he closes his eyes for a second. That was his first mission and he openly failed at that. 

“It’s okay Dean. I know that you did your best.” Charlie says and everyone at the table nods. Dean just wishes that Castiel would think that, too. The only angel Dean doesn’t know is Ash. He is working quietly on a laptop and trying to figure out where Adam could be now.

“Okay my contact Metatron just send me some information.” Ash says right then and his hunter Balthazar gets up to look over his shoulder. Dean is a bit surprised, because he knows that Metatron is actually the first demon Adam ever made. 

“How long do you need?” Balthazar asks and Dean can see how much the angel and human are comfortable around each other. Seems like they know each other quite a few years by now. Gabriel is leaning over Sam to look the laptop and only Joanna keeps her distance to Hannah.

“Few days at least.” Ash admit and Charlie sighs quietly. Her human Samandriel pats her shoulder and then they all sit down. Gabriel tries to lighten the mood with a few jokes, but nobody is paying him much attention.

Dean searches for Castiel, who sits at the bar and drinks his beer alone. Dean gets up and walks over to him.

“Cas? I wanted to… apologize for my behaviour.” Dean says and Castiel turns on his chair around to him. He looks sad for a second again, but then frowns at Dean’s statement.

“You better. I could’ve been dead again.” Castiel says and goes back to his beer. Dean isn’t sure what to do, but decided to sit down next to Castiel, away from the others. Dean would really like to touch Castiel again. Stroke over his stubble again maybe.

“I would never let you die.” Dean whispers and at least Castiel acknowledges that with a nod. Dean wishes he would knew to fix this, but maybe Castiel doesn’t even want to fix it with him. Dean can feel how their bond hurts and for a second Castiel jerks a bit, obviously in pain.

“Why don’t you make yourself useful and help Ash?” Castiel asks then and Dean’s heart breaks quietly. He leaves Castiel alone again, even though with every step away from his hunter, the bond strains hurtfully. 

Dean doesn’t go to Ash, since he has no idea how he could help, but he sits down next to Sam. His big brother glares openly at Castiel.

“You know that you can’t let him talk to you like that.” Sam says and he shakes his head, as if he is disappointed, Dean looks back to Castiel, who doesn't seem angry anymore. Instead his head hangs low and he is hunching his shoulders.

“He got hurt earlier.” Dean says, as if that would explain everything, even though he knows himself that it doesn’t work like that. Dean stays next to Sam anyway, because he doesn’t want to make Castiel even more angry. The bar is almost empty at this point and Ash had already left with his hunter Balthazar.

“Do you wanna stay here forever?” Castiel asks Dean at some point a while later, when only Gabriel and Charlie are left at the table. Charlie just told them about a rather funny prank for once, when Castiel leans against Dean’s chair.

“Oh no. We can leave if you want.” Dean says and hastily gets up. He had left is trench coat somewhere earlier and looks around for it. Maybe he forgot it, back when he was talking to Jo.

“It’s not like I have to wait for you.” Castiel grumbles and Dean nods as answer, before he finally spots the trench coat over one of the chairs. Castiel is talking to Gabriel, while Dean retrieves his trench coat and he shudders when he hears Castiel genuinely laughing. Maybe his mood will be better soon.

“Okay I’m ready.” Dean says, when he is properly dresses again and for a short second he can see how Castiel’s eyes wander all over his body. Just as Dean shyly smiles up at him, Castiel’s smile slips off his face.

“I wish you would leave the dirty thing here.” Castiel groans and even Gabriel raises his eyebrows at that. Before Dean can answer Castiel, he is already out of the door. Dean looks down at himself and Castiel is right, there is some dirt on it. He hastily fixes it with his grace before he says goodbye as well.

He ignores the pain his bond shoots through his body and also the sympathetic look on Charlie’s face. He doesn’t need that right now.

Castiel is waiting in the car already and Dean carefully sits down next to him. The drive to their motel is just a short one, but Castiel isn’t talking with him. Dean just shortly mentions to him when they will meet up with the rest to finally find Adam. Even to that Castiel isn’t answering.

“Castiel? Are you still angry with me?” Dean asks once they are in their room and Castiel is searching the tiny motel bar for something to drink. Dean stands in the middle of the room, unsure what to do now.

“Oh look he is pretty and clever.” Castiel says and he makes a face at Dean, who looks down in shame. It was his first mission! Castiel could be a bit nicer to him, but in the end he is right. Dean was so sure that he was ready for a mission like this, apparently he is not.

How could he ever think that?

“Castiel I already told you - “ Dean starts to say, but then he takes a step forward and Castiel turns around to him. He is still glaring at Dean, but there is something different in his eyes at well.

“You know what? I don’t wanna hear another word from you.” Castiel says and he even pushes Dean a bit backwards. Dean stumbles, when the back of his knees hit the bed frame. Dean sits a bit clumsy down on the bed, looking up at Castiel.

Guardian angels. That what Dean had always said to his siblings, when they told them, they had to watch out for their humans. Dean knows that angels and humans aren’t alike but he still thought they were on the same level. Maybe angels do have certain powers, but he knows it’s more about respect and equality. 

He still doesn’t say anything, just looks up through his eyelashes at Castiel.

“You are impossible.” Castiel says and then he is already in Dean’s lap. Dean reacts rather embarrassing, he makes a sad whining sound in the back of his throat and his eyes widen. Castiel grins, he has both knees on the bed next to Dean’s thighs, which are starting to shake.

Dean opens his mouth, but Castiel just presses his right hand over it.

“Nah ah ah, don’t ruin this again with saying something stupid.” Castiel whispers, directly in Dean’s ear and he shudders rather violently again. He was never touched like this and while he always craved for some kind of touch, unlike his siblings, he never told anyone about it. Maybe it was his human side, who needed the touch.

“It’s unfair that you have such beautiful eyes, I hate it when you look at me with them.” Castiel says, or rather growls quietly again and Dean closes them for a second. He feels a bit overwhelmed and doesn’t really know what Castiel means. It’s not like he can’t change his eye color, but he… doesn’t _want_ to.

“Sorry.” Dean mutters and when he opens his eyes again, Castiel is grinning down at him. It’s not the soft smile Dean got out of him before, but it’s at least something. Dean tries to relax a bit and Castiel hides his face against Dean’s neck again. Before Dean can say anything else, Castiel presses a hot kiss there. 

“You'll be sorry, hm? You are sorry for so many things. I hate it, that you are constantly apologizing, instead of fixing anything.” Castiel mutters and his mouth is still so close to Dean’s skin. Dean never knew that his neck is apparently very sensitive, but he is shuddering under Castiel again.

“I’ll be good.” Dean forces out and where did that come from? Castiel chuckles and his breath is still so hot against Dean’s neck and he actually moans softly, when Castiel presses another kiss there. He really likes this. 

“Oh you better be.” Castiel growls again and then he pushes Dean more on the bed. Dean is now laying on his back, Castiel still on his lap. He feels weird like this, or mostly he feels just so bad, because Castiel is glaring at him again.

“Please.” Dean whispers and he doesn’t even know what he is asking for. Castiel just shakes his head and gets up again, Dean misses his warmth immediately. Castiel is now even more intimidating, standing at the bed, looking down at him.

“I will fuck you.” Castiel says and Dean’s eyes widen. He hadn’t thought that Castiel would be so blunt with him, but he takes a deep breath. Besides anything, he really wishes for this. He feels guilty, because he knows it’s not allowed for angels to fall for their human but… he isn’t the first one to break that rule.

And more importantly, he is not even a full angel.

Dean nods, even though he is still afraid. He never did anything like this before, but he really wants to try it with Castiel. Before he can think more about it, Castiel is getting rid of his flannel and his shirt. Dean whines softly, when he sees the mark he left on Castiel’s arm. He really wants to touch is, but he is not sure if he would be allowed.

“C-cas.” Dean just says and Castiel just throws his clothes on the ground, not really caring about them. Dean is not sure if he should sit up again, to dress up but Castiel did push him in the bed, so maybe he has a plan. Dean tries to push Anna out of his thoughts. How Castiel had touched her.

Dean presses his legs together, when he feels his body respond. Castiel is opening his jeans and Dean can see that Castiel is already liking this as well. When Castiel just pushes the jeans a bit down, he can see the bulge in Castiel’s underwear and Dean moans softly. He really wants to touch him. 

“Get naked and use your mojo.” Castiel says and Dean freezes for a second. That feels even more dirty and wrong, but he nods again. Castiel seems impatient and starts stroking himself through the last fabric. 

“I’m not sure…” Dean starts, but Castiel frowns down at him and Dean stops talking. He really wants Castiel and his bond is nearly vibrating. So he gathers his grace and with just another blink, he is naked on the bed in front of Castiel.

“Oh he really is trying to be good.” Castiel says and it costs Dean all his willpower, not to put his hands over his dick. It feels so weird to be exposed like this, but he doesn’t say anything. He just hisses quietly, because the cold air feels like a bit much around his hot dick. Too his own surprise he is already leaking precum. 

“Say Dean, you ever touched yourself?” Castiel asks and Dean’s eyes snap back to him. He hadn’t seen that Castiel got completely rid of his jeans, but he only wears tight blue shorts and Dean swallows dryly.

“No.” Dean admits and for a second, Castiel’s blue eyes seem a bit brighter, Dean relaxes even more at that, because Castiel seems pleased with that, but then the moment is over and Castiel looks so sad, before he turns almost angry with that. Dean is a bit confused. 

“Good. You will better learn fast, because I want your hands around me.” Castiel says and Dean glances down again. He really wants that. Castiel doesn’t waste any time and climbs back on him again. He is still wearing his boxer shorts, but Dean doesn’t care. He just focuses on Castiel’s face for a second.

“Please.” Dean says again, this time the intention is a lot more clear and Castiel chuckles roughly. The sound makes Dean shiver again and his dick jerks against his stomach. Castiel doesn’t even glance at it. 

“Fine. Now get your hands around me.” Castiel says and Dean is not sure how that would work, with the fabric still in the way. Castiel just rolls his eyes and Dean blushes since he is so not experienced. For sure Anna knew what to do.

Castiel takes Dean’s hand and presses it just against the obvious bulge. Dean takes another deep breath and Castiel guides Dean’s hand into his pants. His cock so hot against is hand and Dean carefully curls his fingers around it. He smiles happily up at Castiel, who has his eyes closed. 

“Like this?” Dean whispers, when he starts to move his hand carefully. Just up and down. Castiel doesn’t answer with any words, but he does starts to fuck up in Dean’s hand. Dean feels a bit more bold, with every soft moan he can get out of Castiel. His own dick arches, but Dean ignores it. He wants to make this good for Castiel.

“Faster.” Castiel grunts and Dean complies. It feels really good that Castiel trusts him like this and Dean jacks him off a bit harder as well. Castiel’s moans get louder at that and Dean wiggles under him again. He wishes he could rub his dick against him as well, but he doesn’t dare to.

“Stop.” Castiel says then and Dean stops immediately. He would probably do anything Castiel wants and he doesn’t care what that implies. He really… loves Castiel and even though the feeling is overwhelming and soon, he doesn’t want to stop it.

“What now?” Dean whispers and his fingers itch to touch his own erection. Castiel just shakes his head and then gets back up from his lap again. Dean wants to stop him, he doesn’t want to lose their touch. He wants Castiel back on him. 

Castiel stays at least on the bed directly next to him, just watching and Dean leans up on his elbows. Castiel leans closer as well and Dean’s breath hitches. He hadn’t even realized that he had started to breath, but he thinks Castiel will finally kiss him. Dean would love to be kissed by Castiel and he closes his eyes, already puckering his lips like he saw Anna do.

“No.” Castiel just says and pushes Dean back down. Dean whines pitifully, but doesn’t try to do it again. Instead he just waits and Castiel grins down at him, he is on Dean again, but this time not sitting on his hips. Instead he presses his dick against Dean’s thigh. Both his hands are on the bed next to Dean’s head. 

“W-what?” Dean whispers and Castiel chuckles darkly. 

“Stay still.” Castiel says and then he pushes down. Dean groans, but he does stay still. Castiel thrusts up against him, again and again. Not once does he touch Dean’s dick and Dean whines turn more pitiful than anything. 

“Please.” Dean whimpers again, but Castiel doesn’t even answer him. He just turns a bit faster and Dean looks up at him. Castiel looks so beautiful like this and Dean really wishes he would kiss him, but maybe he hadn’t earned that yet. 

“Close.” Castiel grunts and Dean nods, even though Castiel has his eyes closed at that point and Dean gets his own hand around his own dick. He hisses, because that actually feels so good. He hadn’t thought it would be like this. Just as he finally starts to feel like he is close again, Castiel moans loudly and then he is coming his underwear.

For a second Dean is sad that he didn’t come directly on him, but before he can think more about it, Castiel is already rolling on the bed next to him. He is breathing heavily now. Dean looks to him, Castiel looks so at peace right now.

“Cas?” Dean whispers and Castiel opens his eyes. There are so many emotions in them, that Dean feels a bit overwhelmed. Just then Castiel’s eyes focus on him and the fog in his eyes disappears. 

“I’m gonna shower.” Castiel says and then he is already getting up. Dean is so surprised at that and he makes another sound and Castiel’s eyes snap back to him. For a moment they both just stare at each other, before Dean finds his voice again.

“Was… it good?” Dean asks then, because he never did anything like that. Castiel smirks and then nods.

“Not bad for you.” Castiel answers finally and then he goes into the bathroom. Dean isn’t sure what that means, but maybe Castiel would give him another chance tomorrow. Dean smiles up at the ceiling, not touching himself anymore. He really hopes Castiel would show him how to do that later.

Dean feels so exhausted that he falls asleep before Castiel is back from the shower.

  


*

  


The next morning Dean wakes up very late and he is surprised at himself. Normally he doesn’t require sleep but he feels a little more human with every day he spends here. It’s not that he really minds it, but it’s still so new. 

Dean sits up and looks to the other motel bed. Seems like Castiel is already up. Dean smiles, maybe he would get them breakfast. His bond is nearly vibrating with happiness, because he got to have that last night. 

The next half an hour he spends in bed like this. Well he did get dressed in some of Castiel’s sweatpants and he hopes his hunter doesn’t mind. Otherwise he stays like he is and just thinks about anything. 

He really hopes Ash, with the help of Metatron, can figure out where Adam is and that they could beat him. Maybe Dean could stay with Castiel anyway, he misses the garden in heaven, but otherwise he feels much more free here. Even though he does miss seeing his wings as well.

Dean groans and then looks at the clock. Castiel is already gone for a very long time. Dean sits up and walks to his trench coat. After all the trouble he forgot about another important thing he found out yesterday.

Ash had sheepishly given him a tiny paper with an address on it. Dean strokes over the paper. Bobby Singer. That’s the name of his father and Ash had found out where he lives. Dean smiles down at the paper. As soon as they caged Adam, he would look for him. Castiel would for sure be happy to come with him.

Just then the door opens and Castiel comes in. He is already dressed in jeans and yet another flannel. Dean frowns, when he sees how angry Castiel looks. Maybe something bad happened? 

“What are you doing? Get dressed we need to go.” Castiel says and Dean isn’t sure what Castiel means. He had thought they would eat together, but apparently Castiel had already eaten alone. Dean can see some crumbles on his flannel.

“Where?” Dean asks and he feels stupid for standing here like a deer in the headlights. Castiel rolls his eyes and Dean looks ashamed to the ground.

“Found us another hunt. Probably vampires.” Castiel says and he stumbles a bit forward. Dean raises his eyebrows, because Castiel is drunk, even though it’s only in the morning. Dean wants to ask him about it, but decides against it. He doesn’t want Castiel to be even more angry.

“Another hunt? I thought we would wait for Adam and…” Dean starts but Castiel laughs and then walks over to the fridge. He gets himself another beer and drinks it almost in one go, before he puts the bottle on the table in the middle of the room, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“Wait? Maybe you should do that, it’s not like I can really use you on a hunt anyway.” Castiel says and he looks so angry again. Dean ducks his head, so Castiel is still angry with him, even though they had… sex together.

“I can help.” Dean mutters and he feels how his broken wings twitch under Castiel’s gaze, not that the hunter could see that. Dean really wishes Castiel would see his potential as a partner on hunts or… as a mate. No, boyfriends. Humans call it that. Dean’s heart flutters at the thought.

“Fine. But maybe I don’t _want_ your help.” Castiel says then and he throws the bottle on the ground this time. Dean jerks and looks to his feet. He has no idea why his siblings thought he should be the one who freed Castiel. Right now he wishes he had never met him. Being in love sucked a lot.

“Okay then I’ll go.” Dean surprises himself with that, but he squeezes his hand around the tiny piece of paper. Maybe if he would leave, he could at least try to save his father for the apocalypse or… ask for his help. Maybe his father is a hunter as well. 

“I don’t care.” Castiel answers and sits down on the other bed. Not the one they… Dean had actually hoped, Castiel would’ve tried to stop him. _Fight_ for him, but Castiel seems not really interested. He just sits on the bed, grinning up at Dean.

“W-hat about yesterday night?” Dean whispers and he knows what the answer will be. Castiel’s grin get a bit wider, even though his blue eyes don’t see happy at all. For a moment Castiel says nothing and Dean gets his trench coat, he presses it against his naked chest.

“What about yesterday night? I don’t remember anything spectacular happening.” Castiel says and Dean looks down. He can feel the tears forming in his eyes and he hates himself for it. So it wasn’t anything special for Castiel. Dean sniffs quietly. 

“O-okay.” Dean stutters out and to his own horror, the tears are already falling down his cheeks. He is ashamed of showing his feelings so openly and he just wishes Castiel would touch him again, despite his angry words. 

“Oh god, I knew you would be a baby about it. It was just sex.” Castiel groans and Dean sniffs again. He never felt this embarrassed before and he turns around before Castiel can hurt him even more. He doesn’t even take his time to gather his stuff, he just closes his eyes and the world around him vanishes. 

Castiel with it.

  


*

  


“Stupid Idiot.” Dean whispers again and again, while he walks down a small path at the end of Kansas. He tries to wipe the tears away, but they don’t stop. His whole body is aching, even though it was designed to never hurt.

Dean can hear Sam through the angel radio, but he ignores his brother. Sam seems alarmed, since he met up with Castiel alone, but Dean doesn’t care. Sam is just asking for him, since he should be the one to catch Adam. 

Dean is so done with this. He would happily turn his back to his family. He doesn’t need them. Dean rubs over his face again and when he looks up, there is a huge building in front of him.

“Singer’s Autoshop.” Dean whispers and looks around. There are broken down cars everywhere. They seem really old, but still Dean likes them. He strokes over an orange one, that’s missing all the windows. He is actually really nervous about meeting his father, so he still takes his time to look around.

Dean is just bending over an old blue cabriolet, when he feels something pressed against his back. He doesn’t move.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing here?” Someone says and Dean automatically holds his hands up. The gun against his back, clicks once and then is taken away. Dean gets up again and turns around.

There is a man standing in front of him now. He is wearing a flannel and some old hat, that is actually pretty dirty. Dean stares anyway, his angel powers vibrating. That’s him.

“I’m l-looking for my father.” Dean whispers and Bobby’s eyes widen. For a moment, nobody is saying anything, Bobby watches him carefully, the gun still aimed at him and Dean thinks about what he could say. He isn’t sure he would believe him anyway.

“Dean?” Bobby says then and Dean is surprised that he knows his name. He nods hastitly and finally Bobby puts the gun away for good.

“Yeah t-that is me! You know me?” Dean is a bit excited now and then Bobby looks really sad for a moment. Dean is not sure what is wrong, but then Bobby comes closer and hugs Dean as hard as he can. Dean nearly squeaks at that, but then he hugs him carefully back. 

“I never thought I would have the chance to meet you.” Bobby whispers and Dean’s heart aches. He hadn’t dared to hope that his father is actually happy to meet him. He seems to be the first person ever who is happy that Dean found him.

“Father.” Dean whispers and he is already tearing up again. Bobby even strokes his hair carefully and then breaks the hug. He wipes his tears away and looks up at his father, only to see that Bobby seems close to tears as well.

“Come on in, boy. I bet you have a lot to tell.” Bobby says and he walks towards the house. Dean follows him, so relieved that Bobby is even inviting him. The house looks a bit old as well, but it does look like… a _home. _Dean wishes he would have spent his time as a fledgling here. 

“So… uhm Mom told you about me?” Dean asks, when he sits at a small kitchen table and Bobby puts some hot tea in front of him. Dean has to smile a bit, when he sees that Bobby took a beer out of the fridge for himself. 

“Well she didn’t tell me much, but I knew yeah. Your mother left before I could even meet you but she sent me this.” Bobby says and he shows Dean a picture of himself. Dean takes it and carefully strokes over it. He is pretty young on that one, his tiny green wings stretched out wide, while he tries to catch a butterfly. 

[](https://i.ibb.co/5nkk7cm/kid-dean-wip.png)

“Oh.” Dean says and he smiles at the memory. His mother always made up some animals in heaven to play with. HIs siblings weren’t very keen about them, but Dean loved to play in the garden.

“I couldn’t believe it you know, my son, a nephilim? Seriously kinda pulled the rug from under my feet, when I saw the picture. But she never tried to contact me again and not one spell I tried worked.” Bobby says and then he takes a big sip of his beer. Dean is surprised of that answer.

“You… looked for me?” Dean asks and Bobby nods. Dean’s heart squeezes in his chest and he smiles at his father. It was the right thing to do. He just wishes he had found Bobby sooner. 

“Of course I did, Idjit. Why does that surprise you?” Bobby asks and he smiles. Dean feels so overwhelmed. He kinda wants to hug his father again, always needy for some touch his siblings said, but he doesn’t dare to.

“Normally I’m just not… wanted.” Dean whispers and Bobby’s happy gaze turns into something angry. Dean shrugs, feeling mostly embarrassed about it. Bobby frowns a bit harder.

“Well I’m glad that you are here.” Bobby says and Dean believes him. He feels so safe here and he would love to stay with his father, even if that means that his siblings and mother would be angry. He just… tries not to think about his mission and Adam.

Or Cas.

“Wait do you have an angel?” Dean asks then and Bobby looks way more sad now. Dean had thought that maybe his mother hadn’t allowed Bobby an angel, if he wasn’t allowed to see Dean.

“Yeah… her name was Ellen.” Bobby says and then walks over to one of his shelves. Dean can see that he has another picture standing there. Right next to the one from Baby Dean. Bobby sighs and then puts the pictures back down.

“I’m sorry.” Dean whispers. He knows that in the last years a lot of angels died. When the human is the one who dies, then the angel gets a new human after a few years of grieving. If the angel is the one who dies, a human spends the rest of his life without one.

“She would’ve loved you. She tried to search for you, but your mother kept you pretty safe.” Bobby says and he sits back down. Dean can’t help himself, his thoughts go back to Castiel. Even though he was so mean, Dean misses him a lot already.

Was Castiel even looking for him?

“What about you? You got a hunter waiting for you.” Bobby asks and Dean shakes his head. He sniffles quietly and looks down at his hands. 

“No he… doesn’t want me.” Dean admits and Bobby pats his hand. Dean sniffles quietly again, not daring to look up to Bobby. Maybe his father would be disappointed, if his hunter didn’t want him around. Makes him sound like he is trouble.

“First love huh?” Bobby says, without any judge in his voice and when Dean finally looks back to him, Bobby is smiling softly. Dean nods and then the tears start to fall again. Only this time somebody is there to wipe them away. 

Dean isn’t sure how long they spend in the kitchen like this. Bobby trying to calm Dean down and wiping every single tear away and Dean hugging his father again and again. Hours later, after Bobby made him some home-cooked meal, Dean is lying in a bed.

“I don’t really sleep.” Dean admits and Bobby, who sits on the edge of his bed smiles.

“Humor me.” He says and strokes over Dean’s hair again. Dean nods and closes his eyes. Before Bobby is out of the room, he is already deep asleep. Dreaming of blue eyes.

  


*

  


“Adam huh?” Bobby says, when he finds Dean a few days later over another book. Dean discovered that his father has a lot of books about supernatural stuff around his house. Dean loves it.

“Yeah I have to stop him.” Dean says and then shrugs. He still has no idea and even the angel radio is quiet so far. Doesn’t seem like his siblings are looking for him yet, so that means they didn’t try to find Adam again so far. 

“Because you are the other nephilim.” Bobby says and he wipes over his face. He had been helping Dean a lot in the last days and Dean smiles. 

“Hmhm.” Dean makes and then tries to look up another spell, that apparently could trap a nephilim. He looks at all the things he needs and he wants to roll his eyes. Instead he writes it down and thinks about contacting Charlie later, to ask her for help.

He doesn’t really want to go back and talk to his siblings, but he knows that he has to. Alone, to save his father. While Bobby was busy Dean had looked some other spells up as well, something about how he could make Bobby an angel as well, so he could take him back to heaven.

But that would only work once, since he has to share his grace and that means he couldn’t do it to Cas…

Dean shakes his head. Not like he wants Castiel to come with him to be an angel. He should forget about him altogether. The bond is still vibrating hurtfully and Dean rubs over his chest. It feels worse with every day.

There is a knock on the door and Dean ignores it. Pretty sure it’s Bobby’s girlfriend Jody, who adopted Dean as if he was her own son. Another reason why Dean can’t take Bobby with him. He deserves to have this. 

“Dean we have a visitor!” Bobby yells through the whole house. Dean groans a bit, from where he sits in his own room and when he hears steps behind him, he doesn’t even turn around. 

“Hey Jody.” Dean says and waves at her vague direction. 

“Not Jody.” Somebody says and Dean’s eyes widen at that. He knows that voice, of course, and something in him aches again. Dean finally turns around and yeah. There is actually Castiel standing in the doorway.

“What are you doing here?” Dean asks and it actually sounds more angry than hurt. Castiel doesn’t look afraid though and Dean sees that Bobby is standing next to him. His father chuckles.

“Maybe hear him out, will you? I leave you to it, Jody wants me to come over anyway.” Bobby says and with that he is already gone. Dean frowns at the back of his father and then looks back to Castiel.

“Dean I just want to say… that I hate you.” Castiel says and Dean is so hurt by that, that he isn’t sure what to do. Just as he wants to snap back, Castiel actually claps his hands over his mouth, as if that isn’t what he wanted to say. 

“Cas?” Dean asks a bit unsure, because Castiel’s eyes look a bit wild. Almost as if he is in panic. He looks a bit sweaty too and his whole face is red. Dean is a bit worried now and Castiel squirms under his gaze.

“Yeah that is my name, what a clever boy.” Castiel snaps again, but he still looks so painted when he says it. He even holds a hand out for Dean to take, begging with his eyes. Dean is not sure what happened.

“Okay uh… just let me touch you for a second.” Dean says and when Castiel doesn’t move away, he carefully holds out his finger and touches Castiel’s forehead. He feels how his grace flows through Castiel’s mind. 

At first he doesn’t feel anything unusual. Just Castiel’s wonderful and bright soul and their bond. Just as Dean wants to give up, he feels a very strange sensation. He has no idea what it is, but tries his grace to get closer and…

“You’re cursed.” Dean says out loud, when he opens his eyes again. Castiel nods, looking miserable and then Dean finally figures out why Castiel was such an asshole. He wishes he could strangle the witch and kill her again. 

“A hate-curse.” Dean whispers and Castiel’s blue eyes fill with tears. Dean isn’t sure what to do, so he just hugs Castiel against his chest. Since Castiel is a bit smaller than him, he hides his face against Dean’s chest. Dean strokes his hair, just like Bobby did with him a few days ago.

“You need to heal me! Try to be useful for once!” Castiel says and Dean swallows. He knows now that this is just the curse talking, but it still hurts a lot. He never came across this curse in real life, but he had heard about it.

“I’m sorry, I can’t help you.” Dean whispers and Castiel shoves him away. Dean tries to look apologetic, but Castiel rolls his eyes. He is obviously fighting the curse on his own and sometimes the old Castiel comes through.

“What do you mean?” Castiel yells and Dean shrugs.

“A curse that strong, especially a hate-curse, can only be broken with enough love.” Dean says and he awkwardly smiles. He understands now why Castiel hated him, because Dean was the first thing he saw. That also means that he needs to love Dean to break the curse. They would… need to kiss.

“What?” Castiel says and he squints at Dean again.

“I’m sorry Cas. I’m in love with you, but that is not enough to break the curse. You need to be the one who has to be in love.” Dean admits and he feels himself blushing. He just told Castiel that is already fell in love with him and he ducks his head. Oh god, this makes everything worse.

“How could I ever love someone like you?” Castiel says and Dean nods. To be honest he had thought Castiel would say something like that, cursed or not. Dean takes a few steps back and feels the wall behind him. He isn’t sure what to do now.

“Dean.” Castiel says again and when Dean looks back to him, he sees how close Castiel stands. The blue eyes show so many emotions and then Castiel closes them, Dean isn’t sure what Castiel wants to tell him in this way. 

Before Dean can say anything else, Castiel presses his lips to Dean’s. It’s a very soft touch and Dean gasps quietly against the pink lips, his eyes wide. To Dean’s shame he melts into the kiss in just a second, closing his eyes as well. 

Castiel doesn’t press Dean against the wall, instead he pulls Dean against his chest. Dean makes a soft noise at that, but he puts his arms around Castiel’s neck, wanting to be close. Castiel licks over his lower lip and Dean opens his mouth, despite never being kissed before. It just feels like he was designed for this. For Castiel.

Dean can’t get enough and one kiss turns into another one and they are fully making out. Castiel kisses him like a drowning man and Dean pushes him away when he remembers that Castiel actually has to breath.

For another moment Castiel’s eyes stay closed. Dean is worried and bites on his already swollen lower lip. Castiel’s lips are red and swollen as well and Dean smiles just a tiny bit, because _he_ did that.

“Did it work?” Castiel whispers and finally opens his eyes again. Dean shrugs, since he isn’t sure, for now he can only feel their bond exploding. It vibrates so much that it’s almost too much. Dean’s hands somehow found their way into Castiel’s shirt and Castiel’s hands are on his hips.

“I can’t take another day where you hate me.” Dean whispers and Castiel frowns at those words. He looks pained and puts one of his hands against Dean’s cheek. Dean didn’t realize that he was tearing up again, but one single tear falls down his cheek anyway. Castiel wipes it away.

“I could never hate you.” Castiel says and both are surprised at those words. Dean gasps and his fingers tighten in Castiel’s shirt. He really said that and Castiel smiles, when he realizes that his words finally came out like he meant them and not filled with all the hate.

“It worked!” Dean says happily and he promptly kisses Castiel again. Now that he finally could taste what his hunter tastes like, he isn’t able to stop kissing him. Castiel kisses back without another thought.

“I’m so sorry.” Castiel whispers between their next kisses and Dean shushes him, he doesn't really want to hear it. He doesn’t want to remember the words Castiel said. 

“I know.” Dean says and he hopes they can really forget about it, but Castiel breaks the next kiss and carefully takes Dean’s hand in his, before he sits down on Dean’s bed. Dean is forced to sit down next to him and Castiel strokes over his hands.

“I mean it Dean. I knew something was very wrong and I couldn’t stop it. I know that I hurt you with everything I said, but I promise you that I didn’t mean it. That was the curse! You have to believe me!” Castiel says and Dean tries to remain calm.

“I believe you.” Dean says and he presses a kiss to Castiel’s cheek. It feels so good to feel his stubble against his own face, Dean almost wants to rub his own cheek against Castiel’s. To his disappointment, Castiel is still not finished with apologizing.

“Oh god and then I forced you to have sex with me.” Castiel says and this time he drops Dean’s hands. Instead he wipes over his own face and groans ashamed. Dean shakes his head, but Castiel can’t see that, since he is still hiding in his hands.

“Hey no. I... I wanted it. I had thought it would be different, but I wanted it.” Dean says and he hopes that Castiel believes him. If he hadn’t wanted the sex with Castiel, he could’ve easily stopped it, but he was so selfish.

“Was it… I mean did you ever… before I mean?” Castiel asks and he looks back to Dean, who blushes deeply. This is something he had thought they would never talk about again and Dean shrugs.

“Uhm no, you… were my first.” Dean says and he is actually ashamed of that. It’s not even uncommon for an angel to stay virginal, but Dean knows that Castiel has a lot of experience. Heck he fucked Anna the moment he was back on earth.

“Wow, so I really fucked that up.” Castiel says and he shakes his head at himself. Dean presses closer against him, seeking the touch. Castiel actually leans closer too and Dean is relieved that his hunter doesn’t run away.

“We can always try again.” Dean whispers and he is a bit surprised at his own words. Normally he isn’t that forward, but he really wants to feel Castiel again. No. He wants to feel him for the first time. Really feel him. Feel his love maybe. 

“I don’t think that is a good idea.” Castiel says and he is already shaking his head. Dean is having none of it and gets up, only to sit down on Castiel’s lap. He looks down to Castiel, pressing his hands on Castiel’s chest again. Castiel shudders under him.

“Please?” Dean asks and he can almost feel the impact this has on Castiel. At least his hunter kisses him again and Dean carefully moves on his lap. Just a tiny bit. His grace leaving the room for a moment and Dean grins against Castiel’s lips, when he feels that Bobby really isn’t home anymore.

“Dean wait. Do you really think that is a good idea? I could understand if you never want to see me again and…” Castiel starts again and Dean is so glad that his hunter is finally back to his real self. He never saw Castiel so broken and sensible before, but Dean is glad he has the chance to see this.

Even though he wishes it wasn’t because of the curse. 

“I love you Castiel Novak.” Dean says and it feels so good to say it again. The smile he gets from Castiel only makes it better and oh. Castiel is actually blushing, but there seems to be another thing that is bothering him.

“I’m not worth enough for you.” Castiel says and Dean slaps him against the chest, Castiel gasps, even though the punch was not very hard. Dean rolls his eyes, this time kissing Castiel’s nose, which makes him squint so adorable.

“I feel like I’m the one who decides who is worthy for me and you are _more _than worthy.” Dean says and he concentrates back on their bond. Pushing his feelings towards Castiel through it. Dean had seen that Castiel so far had reacted once or twice to the bond, but this time Castiel’s soul literally dances.

“Oh.” Castiel makes and then there is a new sensation in their bond. Castiel is actually pushing his own feelings back at Dean, who is the surprised one now. He can feel how his eyes are starting to glow, can see it reflect in Castiel’s eyes, who look so much more stunning like this.

“Cas.” Dean says and his eyes turn back to his normally green color. Castiel smiles up at him and this time he is the one who initiates the next kiss. Dean is surprised, when Castiel’s hands stroke down his back, but he enjoys it a lot.

Castiel leans a bit back, silently asking for permission to get rid of the shirt. Dean nods and Castiel helps him out of his shirt. Dean can’t look Castiel in the eye, as he sits shirtless on his lap, even though it’s not the first time Castiel sees his chest. Castiel doesn’t seem to accept that and puts his fingers under Dean’s chin.

“Hey look at me.” Castiel whispers and Dean does. He gets another kiss as a reward, but before he can deepen it, Castiel is already kissing down his neck. Dean automatically tilts his head, so Castiel can reach even more of his skin. Dean didn’t know he was this sensitive there, but he responds to every single kiss with some kind of noise. 

“Cas.” Dean says and this time it sounds more like a prayer than anything. Castiel doesn’t answer, instead he kisses down his shoulder and then places a kiss on the middle of Dean’s chest. Dean moans quietly, because that does feel amazing. The last time Castiel hadn’t been so careful with him.

Castiel’s mouth find his right nipple and this time Dean actually throws his head back. He is still dressed in Castiel’s old sweatpants and it feels amazing to take things so slow. The last time he had mojoed himself naked, but it feels a lot sweeter like this. One of Castiel’s hands find the other nipple and he tugs gently at it.

“Sensitive, hm?” Castiel mutters against Dean’s now wet skin and Dean groans as an answer. He never wants this to stop and at the same time it takes way too long. He can feel how his dick fattens up in his pants and Dean tries to rub himself against Castiel again.

“More!” Dean demands and Castiel snorts, before he gently bites once more into his already abused nipple. That is not really what Dean meant, but before he can say something like that, Castiel’s hand is already stroking down his tummy. Dean trembles, because the touch is barely there.

“I’m sorry I didn’t take time to cherish you like you deserve the last time.” Castiel says and his fingers still play with his waistband. Dean whines quietly, he isn’t sure if he really deserves this, but he wouldn’t disagree with Castiel now. 

“Can… I touch you too?” Dean asks and when he squirms on Castiel’s lap again, he can feel that Castiel is also pretty hard already. The proud feeling comes back, but the last time Dean didn’t really touch Castiel like he wanted to.

“Yeah, how about you undress me as well?” Castiel whispers and he is back to nibbling Dean’s neck. Dean gasps, when Castiel carefully bites down. When Castiel leans back, Dean puts his tremblings hands on Castiel’s chest. Dean is not really sure what to do, but Castiel smiles so lovingly up at him.

It takes Dean a bit to figure out how to undress Castiel, while they are still sitting like this. So he just starts to open the buttons of Castiel’s flannel. It’s a bright pink today and Dean really likes it. Castiel huffs a laugh, when Dean struggles with the last button and then the flannel is finally off.

Dean throws it over his shoulder and he hears how it hits the ground. Dean groans, when he sees that of course the flannel was not the only layer. Stupid hunter.

“Why?” Dean whines and he pulls on the white T-Shirt Castiel is wearing now. Castiel laughs and kisses Dean quiet for a moment. He even moves to get out of his shirt alone, but Dean is having none of it.

He puts his own hands over Castiel’s and shakes his head. Castiel’s grip on his shirt loosens and instead he puts his hands back to Dean’s hips. Where they belong. Dean grins, when he puts his hands under Castiel’s shirt. The hunter shudders, partly because Dean’s hands are cold, but also because while Dean lifts the shirt up, he strokes over the skin at the same time.

Dean loves the way Castiel’s muscles tremble underneath his hands.

The shirt falls to the ground as well and this time Dean actually gets up, since he has no chance to get out of his pants this way. To his surprise Castiel is getting up as well and before Dean can move, Castiel’s fingers are under his waistband again. 

“These are my sweatpants right?” Castiel asks and he steps closer to Dean, who nods a bit shyly. He doesn’t wear them all the time, but they do give him some kind of comfort, even though Castiel was being such an asshole. He would love to keep them.

“You want them back?” Dean asks instead and Castiel laughs. Dean gets kissed again and then Castiel shakes his head. Dean is a bit relieved. 

“No, I really like it when you wear my clothes. I know I said I hated the trench coat but you look adorable in it as well. Still, maybe I should give you more of my clothes to wear.” Castiel mutters and Dean feels himself blushing again. He would actually love to wear more of Castiel’s clothes. It feels as if he Castiel’s.

“Right now I would be happy to be out of them.” Dean says a bit cheeky and he gets rewarded with a low moan from Castiel. He loves to hear his hunter like this. It’s almost as if he is the powerful one in their relationship.

“As you wish, Baby.” Castiel says and Dean blushes deeper. He really likes the pet name and Castiel seems to know that, because he laughs, when he sees Dean’s face. Before Dean can hide or anything, Castiel pulls his sweatpants down.

Castiel even bends down and gets rid of Dean’s shoes and socks. Dean has to smile at that much care, but he is still embarrassed, that Castiel sees him like this now. Doesn’t matter, that he saw him naked before, too.

“White briefs huh?” Castiel grins and Dean nods. Castiel winks at him and then gets rid of his own clothes. Dean watches him very closely, since the last time he didn’t really had the chance to see this. Castiel wears tight black boxer shorts and Dean licks his lips, without thinking about it.

“W-what now?” Dean asks a bit unsure, but Castiel just takes his hand and goes back to the bed. He pushes Dean a bit until Dean gets the idea and lays down for Castiel. The hunter looks down at him and then lays down on him. Dean huffs at the weight, but he actually enjoys this.

Castiel feel so warm and when he kisses him again, Dean becomes aware of his dick again, which is starting to leak. Castiel is kissing down his chest again and when he is at Dean’s hips, he grins up at him.

“I will make you squirm for me.” Castiel says and Dean shudders at the words. He is really excited and it feels so much better than he had ever thought. Castiel pulls his briefs down and Dean almost jerks, when Castiel’s breath is blowing right on his cock. 

“Cas, please!” Dean says, not sure what he is actually asking for, but Castiel nods, as if he has the right idea. Even though Dean watches Castiel, he is still surprised when Castiel licks a wet stripe underneath his cock, which jumps excitedly. 

“Okay baby. Try to hold still for now, yeah? I’d like to make you feel good, so just enjoy.” Castiel says and then he licks over Dean’s cock again, before he takes the tip into his mouth. Dean can’t help the sounds he makes and when Castiel groans as well, the sounds vibrate so beautifully around Dean’s cock.

“Oh fuck.” Dean says, not realizing that he actually is swearing at this point, but it’s not like, as if he would care. Castiel takes him a bit further and Dean doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He just holds onto the blanket beneath him.

“Feeling good, angel?” Castiel says and Dean nods a bit wild. He isn’t sure what he could say, since he can’t stop whining at that wet and warm feeling around his cock. He had never thought the sexual act could be this good. He doesn’t understand how the other angels are living without this.

The next minutes, seconds or hours Dean isn’t sure, Castiel just sucks him off, while he carefully plays with Dean’s balls as well. Dean just lets it happen, but at one point his hands find Castiel’s hair, carefully tugging at it, because Castiel will moan every single time Dean does it.

Just as Dean thinks he is about to come, Castiel pulls off of him. Dean whines louder and he wants to press Castiel’s head back down. Castiel laughs, just to crawl back up to Dean and kiss him. Dean makes a face, when he can taste himself.

“Okay baby. I let you decide, do you wanna come down my throat or do you want me to fuck you?” Castiel asks and Dean gasps at the questions. He hadn’t really thought about it, but he knows what his decision will be. 

“Will you… be careful?” Dean asks and Castiel’s blue eyes soften. 

“Of course, baby. Not as stupid as I was the last time and you can stop at any time okay?” Castiel promises and Dean nods. He half expects Castiel to fuck him just like this, but Castiel puts a hand around Dean’s dick first.

“C-close.” Dean whispers, because he imagines that this already feels like an orgasm, but Castiel just kisses his hip again.

“Okay why don’t you come down my throat first and then I fuck you?” Castiel says and just like that he takes Dean into his mouth again, until he hits his throat. Dean groans so loudly, he is really glad that Bobby can’t hear him and then Castiel even swallows a few times around him. 

Dean’s hips don’t stay still this time, but Castiel doesn’t really seem to mind and when he takes Dean out, only to deepthroat him a bit more, Dean turns dizzy and he comes down Castiel’s throat. 

For a moment he feels as if he had died, even though it takes a lot more to kill an angel. Maybe he is back in heaven? He feels almost weightless, then he hears Castiel’s chuckle and opens his eyes. Castiel is licking his fingers clean and Dean flushes.

“Intense hm?” Castiel asks and he grins so widely. Dean nods, because his aftershock is still running through him. Castiel kisses him and this time Dean doesn’t mind the taste at all. He is just so happy. Castiel is still grinning and Dean presses his hand against Castiel’s cheek.

“That was the best orgasm I ever had.” Dean says and Castiel laughs loudly. Dean can feel how hard Castiel is against his thigh, only to see that his own dick is spend for now. Without moving a finger he uses a bit of grace, to keep him going again. Castiel looks down and then smirks.

“Getting ready for round two?” Castiel laughs and Dean nods hastily. He really can’t wait to feel Castiel inside him. Castiel gets up first and Dean whines at the loss. He can see that Castiel is searching for something and he frowns. 

“You don’t have any lube huh?” Castiel asks and Dean snaps his fingers. The bottle appears right on the shelf next to Castiel and he grins at that.

“I can’t believe you.” Castiel says and comes back to the bed, not without getting out of his underwear as well. Dean swallows dryly, when he sees Castiel’s cock again and he wouldn’t mind touching it again. 

Castiel seems to have different plans, since he kneels down at the end of the bed. He opens the lube and pours an amount in his right hand. Dean watches him silently and he is surprised, when Castiel’s hand goes back to his cock first.

“I need you to be relaxed, baby. I never ever want to hurt you again.” Castiel whispers and Dean nods. He feels relaxed already, because he trusts Castiel, but his words also help a lot. He is so glad that Castiel is so sweet with him now.

Dean holds his breath, when Castiel’s fingers dance around his entrance, but the other hand on his cock, distracts him pretty well. The first finger goes in easily and while it feels a bit weird, it’s nothing Dean can’t handle.

It does take a bit longer with Castiel’s next two fingers, but after some time Dean fucks back against him. He feels already so full and _good_ that he can’t really wait to feel Castiel in him.

“Please, Cas. I can’t wait.” Dean says almost shyly, but Castiel looks down at him and before Dean can say more he is getting kissed again. He would never get tired of Castiel’s taste and he puts his arms around Castiel’s neck.

“Anything you want.” Castiel whispers, against Dean’s lips and then he carefully presses his cock against Dean’s entrance. It takes a lot out of Dean to stay still during it, but he gasps, when the head of Castiel’s cock is pushed inside him.

“Oh fuck!” Dean says loudly and Castiel even has it in him to laugh a bit breathless at that, before he carefully pushes inside until his balls touch Dean’s skin. Castiel closes his eyes, so he wouldn’t come just from that image. 

“I love it when you curse my sweet, dirty angel.” Castiel whispers directly into Dean’s ear, who shudders almost violently at that. Castiel smirks and then we he gave Dean some time to get used to it, he carefully circles his hips back, only to thrust into Dean again. 

“J-just like that!” Dean whines so loud, when Castiel finally finds what he was looking for with his next thrust. Dean’s dick is so hard and an angry shade of red and Castiel can’t resist to touch it again.

“Gonna be a good little angel and come for me?” Castiel wants to know, when he feels himself getting close. Dean is really loud and while Castiel loves that, he is glad that Bobby isn’t in the house anymore. He had luckily heard the front door earlier. 

“Only for… for you!” Dean stutters out, his eyes are shut, but Castiel can see that he is tearing up again. He kisses Dean’s tears away, while he strokes his dick a bit harder. Dean whimpers so beautiful when he rubs his thumb under the tip of Dean’s dick.

“I know baby and I will never share you. You are mine, isn’t that right?” Castiel asks and Dean nods so hard, that he is almost knocking his head against Castiel’s. The hunter laughs, while Dean kisses him quiet.

“Yours.” Dean promises and it sounds like so much more. Castiel nods.

“And I’m yours, Dean. Only yours. Now show me, how good you are. Come.” Castiel says, just as he hits Dean’s prostate again. Dean does come suddenly, painting his own stomach and Castiel’s hand white.

Castiel can’t even enjoy how stunning Dean looks like this, because then he is already coming deep inside Dean, his angel’s name on his lips.

“I think I’m dead.” Dean whispers, after Castiel just laid down on him, breathing harshly and they both stayed quiet for over ten minutes. Castiel laughs at that and then nuzzles against Dean again.

It doesn’t take long for them to fall asleep.

  


*

  


“Are you sure?” Dean asks and he can’t help sounding so nervous. Castiel strokes over his cheek for a moment and Dean leans into the touch. Now that he could have this, he doesn’t seem to be able to stop.

“Of course I am. Did you call your siblings already?” Castiel wants to know and Dean nods. He is still holding Castiel’s other hand and while the Hunter seems mostly calm, Dean can feel his heartbeat.

His bond also tells him that Castiel is nervous as well.

“They should be on their way.” Dean says and just then he can hear the rustling of feathers. Charlie is the first one, who lands next to them. Her hunter Samandriel smiling brightly at them.

“Dean! There you are!” Charlie says and then she is hugging Dean as hard as she can. Dean is kinda glad he doesn’t really has to breath. He knows that his siblings were a bit worried, when he had left without telling them.

“Can’t let you run into this alone, huh?” Dean tries to joke, but then Charlie looks down and sees that Dean and Castiel are still holding hands. She waggles her eyebrows and Dean blushes. Actually he is glad that Castiel didn’t want to hide their feelings.

“Yeah, well, if Metatron is right, then Adam should be hiding here.” Charlie says and points at the dark Castle. It doesn’t look as if someone would live here, but you never knew with Adam. Dean swallows.

“Dean. Charlie.” Dean turns around to see that Jo and Sam are now there as well. Gabriel runs over to his brother and hugs him. Castiel had called him earlier as well, telling him about the curse.

Hannah just nods at them, angel blade in her hand. Dean looks back to the castle. He would end this for them all. For his father and Ellen. For his friends. For every human in the world and… for his love.

“He is alone.” Ash says, when he comes back from the castle, where he had looked for some signs of other demons. Balthazar is at his side, looking a bit nervous as well. Dean takes another deep breath.

“Let me go in there first.” Dean says and before somebody can stop him, the world vanishes around him and he is standing in the middle of a room. He really hopes Charlie holds Castiel back, just as she promised.

It doesn’t take long for another door to open and then somebody walks into the room. Dean tries to glare at Adam, but he thinks the fear is clearly to see in his eyes. 

Adam looks angry, but not really surprised. He had probably seen them coming. The white suit he wears is covered in blood and Dean tries not to shudder at that. Adam grins widely.

“So so. Another nephilim. Let me guess Daddy cheated on Mary and my mum again?” Adam asks, his mouth a flat line. Dean shakes his head. 

“No Mary is my mother, my father is human.” Dean says and at least that means they are not related. Dean still feels bad for Adam. Sure he had killed so many people and done so much bad, but if he had a family like Dean had, this wouldn’t have happened. 

“And you didn’t kill her? For having betrayed your father with John?” Adam asks and Dean shakes his head. He is just happy to have a wonderful father like Bobby.

“No. My parents both love me and John… he loved me too.” Dean says quietly and Adam looks away, as if Dean had slapped him. Dean takes a few steps forward and Adam doesn’t step away.

“My… mum she was not the same when he left her.” Adam says and for a second there is so much sadness in his voice, just as Dean thinks he would be safe, Adam moves his hand and slams Dean into a wall, without moving otherwise.

Dean groans, his back hurting and he is sure Adam just broke his left wing. 

“Why… why are you doing this?” Dean coughs, while he gets up again. He looks behind him and while he can’t see his wings, he can feel how the left one just hands down his back. Clearly broken. His wings were already a mess from saving Castiel, now he is glad the hunter can’t see them.

Dean uses his grace, but Adam just laughs. Dean has no idea how he could beat him. 

“What, hurting people? Why should they all be happy when my mum and me can’t?” Adam says and then he is using his grace again. Dean is getting choked and he gasps, even though Adam is not touching him.

“I… c-can help you!” Dean says and while he wishes he could, he knows that Adam can’t be really saved anymore. His heart aches and when he hears the door behind him, Adam’s grace stops tightening around his neck.

“Dean!” Castiel says and Dean is glad to see him, even though he never wanted Castiel here. It’s far too dangerous for him. Dean falls to his knees, when he can breath again and Castiel kneels down next to him.

“What did you do to him?!” Castiel growls and Dean coughs heavily, still holding onto his hunter. Adam holds out his hand one more time and Dean shoves Castiel away, just as Adam’s grace hits the hunter right in the chest.

Castiel falls to the ground, eyes closed. 

“No Cas!” Dean doesn’t care that Adam could still kill him right now, he just crawls over to his hunter and puts his head on Castiel’s chest.

There is no heartbeat anymore. 

“Dean get out of here!” 

Dean doesn’t even register Charlie’s words, nor does he sees that Sam is already preparing the spell together with Jo. He can hear some yelling behind him, but he just cries silently on Castiel’s chest. 

Dean doesn’t know why but somehow his bond vibrates louder with every second. So he gets up, broken wing tucked safely against him and glares at Adam. He knows his eyes are a bright blue now.

“ENOUGH!” Dean shouts over all of them and with everything he can, he collects the whole of his grace. It hurts, but he doesn’t stop and while the tears fall down his face, he points his hands at Adam.

Castiel would’ve wanted this.

Dean screams, when his grace his ripped away from him, hitting Adam right in the chest, just like he had done it with Castiel minutes before. Adam falls to the ground, eyes closed, sadly still breathing.

“Get… get him out of here.” Dean growls and he can hear that Ash speaks the binding spell that will put in the cage, where he would stay forever, so he could never hurt someone again. Balthazar is next to him.

Dean sinks down to his knees, his grace vibrating inside of him again. He looks back to Castiel who looks so peaceful and then he makes a decision, even though he had meant to ask Castiel before it. 

“W-what will you do?” Gabriel asks, eyes full of tears, but before Dean can answer Sam is already there, taking the smaller hunter with him. Dean closes his eyes and puts his hand on Castiel’s chest.

He knows this time his grace will leave him for good, but he doesn’t care. His grace leaves him almost happily, while Dean’s whole body is in flames and he screams again. 

Just as he sees how Castiel’s eyelids flutter, the world turns black.

  


*

  


“Dean?”

Dean opens his eyes and is surrounded by white walls. He knows he is in heaven again, somehow laying on a comfortable bed. 

“What?” Dean asks, his voice sounding so rough and he hisses when he moves, because his left wing hurts so bad, he is sure he would pass out again, just from that. 

“Hey sweetheart there you are!” Mary says, from where she is sitting next to him. Dean frowns at those words, but he likes it a lot when Mary carefully strokes over his cheek. He decides to focus on that.

“What happened?” Dean asks and Mary smiles a little bit more. He doesn’t think she was ever so gentle with him, but he likes it a lot.

“You got Adam in the cage.” Mary says and Dean feels himself smiling. He did this! Well obviously with his siblings, but the world is safe. Dean relaxes further into the bed, careful of his wing that is stretched out beside him, covered with bandages. 

He looks for sure like a hurt bird. Ugh.

“I did it.” Dean says happily and Mary nods. Dean feels good, but there is something else vibrating in him and Dean is confused. His head hurts a lot and he feels so weak. So empty on the one hand, but also …. completed? 

Dean looks up when he sees somebody at the end of the hall. There is Sam talking to someone, but the other angel has turned his back to Dean. For a second Dean doesn’t think there is anything uncommon, but then he sits up.

“Green wings!” Dean says and then points unashamed at the strange angel. The wings aren’t as huge as Sam’s, but they have the exact same color like Dean’s. Dean had never seen anyone with that color. 

Mary next to him chuckles.

“Yeah we already met your mate.” Mary says, still sounding so happy, while Dean frowns, he is still not sure what she is talking about, his head pounding but then the other angel turns around and Dean gasps.

Everything falls back to place, when he looks into the brightest blue eyes he had ever seen.

“Castiel.” Dean whispers and Castiel smiles so lovingly at him. It had worked! He had shared his grace for Castiel and now they could be together forever! 

“Hey my love.” Castiel says, when he comes to the bed and Mary leaves them alone. Dean just looks at his former hunter.

“It’s okay baby. I’m happy.” Castiel says and Dean is relieved. Castiel leans down to kiss him and even though he skims over Dean’s hurt wing, Dean doesn’t care. It only matters that Castiel is with him.

Sharing his grace had worked. Castiel was save. Dean was with him. Just like that he closes his eyes again, when Castiel sits down next to him. 

“Rest my beautiful angel.” Castiel whispers and Dean does.

  


*

  


“Idjit.” Bobby says and he can hear Jody laughing in the kitchen.

“What did he do now?” Jody asks, while she cleans her hands on a towel. She pushes the pie into the stove, knowing how much Dean loves a good apple pie.

“He basically invited all his siblings to our Barbeque.” Bobby answers and this time Jody seems a bit put off.

“You mean his million siblings?” Jody asks and Bobby shakes his head. He holds out the phone, so Jody can read the message herself.

“Oh well, then I should probably make more food and you should buy some beer.” Jody says, smiling again and Bobby knows exactly why he fell in love with her ages ago. Jody winks at him. Sam, Charlie and Jo would attend the barbeque with their hunters. 

Bobby knows that they have to celebrate the saving of the world, but Dean could’ve texted him a bit sooner. Bobby gets his wallet and stops at the cupboard, where he keeps every picture that means something to him.

The latest one he put there shows his Son, clearly with a broken wing behind his back, but smiling happily, while Castiel kisses his cheek, his own green wings proudly opened. Bobby smiles and shakes his head.

Seriously. 

“Idjit.” 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it! :)
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](https://notfunnydean.tumblr.com)


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